this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
647 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

13638 readers
431 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Trump administration officials fired more than 300 staffers Thursday night at the National Nuclear Security Administration — the agency tasked with managing the nation’s nuclear stockpile — as part of broader Energy Department layoffs, according to four people with knowledge of the matter.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Just don't lose the launch codes:
000000000000

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Lol, ok, I can see why this is called NOT THE ONION. Geeze, and this is the most powerful country in the world. Maybe they don't actually know where Canada is, ha.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

When they beg you to come back, Dean and a contract for 10x your previous salary or no deal.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

The guy who did his fireworks on the campaign trail will be heading NORAD.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oopsie, accidentally lost some nukes.

What's that? israel mysteriously found some nukes? Guess we'll never know where they got them from, its a mystery...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Israel already illegally developed nuclear weapons on their own

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Stole them from the US*

fucking what

Israel's nuclear program development was dependent on French and British support

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

I knew it was a joint venture with South Africa.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I knew someone who mixed cars and airplanes at the end of his life.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Like the car at the end of Grease? Or more like the one in Flubber?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

More like dementia. At the beginning, it was surprising and after sometime, people laughed at it.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago (3 children)

"Not realizing. "

No. They absolutely realized it. Farking the country up is the entire point

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

The US government is gigantic and does a lot beyond what most people see in a day to day basis.

The visible part of DoE is energy conservation and developing alternative energy sources. It turns out the DoE does a lot more and they didn't realize this before promising to destroy the department.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fucking, the word is fucking.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Swearing?! On my internet?!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

i could believe that they're too stupid to know what the DOE does

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

DOGE, but 25% more efficient?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I could also see them being manipulated by outside powers so that weapons might mysteriously end up in foreign hands.

They are both ignorant and pliable.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

TBH it's on message for them.

The guy they had to lead the DOE last time had no idea what they did, either. It's nice to see that at least some things don't change.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It seems funny until you realize that we actually do need some serious people running government, and instead, our president has staffed it with 20 year-old morons and idiotic TV personalities that he probably secretly uses for fap fodder.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah, President Musk isn't going for serious or for a running government.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

didn't he have this problem of not understanding what the department of energy did last term?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yep. His 'bull in a China shop' philosophy of governance comes with a lot of collateral damage.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

philosophy of governance

Just feels wrong in a sentence about the diaper, even after "bull in a China shop."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No doubt it does, but I think 'bull in a China shop' is a fairly accurate characterization.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

100%

Potentially even very generous.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I wonder how many nukes are gonna disappear.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

Why don't we ask Jeff?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Dunno, but I hope one makes it to the Palestinians so this war can end. Mutually-assured destruction is a wonderful thing.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I already took 12 of them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Got me a four pack. Just traded two eggs.

I'm feeling remorse.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Those stockpiles should be moved to Canada, because clearly they are not mature enough to take care of such things.

load more comments
view more: next ›