this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 45 comments
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Hmm, not bad. Bit salty...

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

OOPs picture is clearly a photoshopped porkchop. Who even bothers with making this shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

There are a bunch of fake meat products intended for vegans. Fake steaks, fake thanksgiving turkeys. Usually made out of seitan (gluten), tofu, or mung bean proteins. I don’t think any of them resemble fleshlights…

My local pan Asian has had “vegan pork uterus” for ages.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 84 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't think putting something in a freezer would disinfect it. Stop the microbes from breading while it's inside, but they start again quickly as soon as it gets out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

It does depend. Some microbes die when being frozen, but generally heat is much more effective (though you probably shouldn't cook your Fleshlight and use some disinfection sprelay (etc) instead)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Maybe OP had parasitic worms in his flesh light.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

*googles "how to erase thoughts"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's just a picture of Jack Daniels

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I believe that's the search result for "how to prevent thoughts". Kinda similar, but there's a difference.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

Ice crystals can and do rupture cells. But it's not a good method to disinfect as a lot depends on the freezing rate resulting in different crystal sizes.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

True or not this shit killed me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 218 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

None of this is true. It's a piece of ham that looks mildly like a vagina, and someone came up with a funny story.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Welp, I am gullible enough to think it might be real

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

That's a heck of a lot more than mildly vulva

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey, what are the chances that's some actual Pig crotch? Isn't ham made from cured or dried pork?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ham is made from the thighs of the pig

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There's a non-zero chance a pig had a mutation where it had a vagina on its thigh, or thighussy as the kids would say.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How can it be fake if it's not gay? Dude just ate pussy, that's as straight as it gets.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Fake: no silicone would deform like that at conventional cooking temperatures.

Gay: user's name is Callum.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Silicone no. But TPE, which melts ~170°C (~340°F) might. Still fake tho.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

If it actually was attempted to be cooked in a skillet, a very, very different outcome and text message would have been shared.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

I gotta say, I did laugh though.

[–] [email protected] 109 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Do you think someone would do that? Just go on the Internet and lie?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

Especially on a shitposting community? What’s the world coming to?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

On the internet, no one knows you're a dog.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

The audacity!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

How does one expect freezing to disinfect?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Freezing can kill bacteria, but only at temperatures far below what the standard freezer can reach. They do this for many seafood products sold commercially.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How does one mistake a fleshlight for edible meat?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago

They don't because this is fake.