Makes sense. They're all a bunch of dicks.
this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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I kept looking for the Onion link and never found it.
10k just be be able to jerk it 3 times? This guy is a loser. I'll jerk it all day for free. He can't charge me a fee
That's satirical, right?
Right?
☹️
It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material
Genetic Material is DNA. Dry skin falling off is technically discharging genetic material. As is bleeding...
Technically a woman would be grossly violating this with every period... or by giving birth.
(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material: ... ( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.
So basically it's illegal to do so without the intent to fertilize an embryo... unless doing it as part of a contraceptive method? Isn't abstinence - e.g. not having sex - a legitimate method?.... wouldn't masturbation be a way to manage abstinence?
(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo;
This means it's legal to pull out and fill a jar to donate to such a facility.
Always has been
This will only effect incel wet dreams
🤣
SECTION 1.
(1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."
(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.
(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:
( a ) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
( b ) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and
( c ) Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.
(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
( a ) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.
SECTION 2.
This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025
Shit, I vomited without intent to fertilize an embryo
I know its Mississippi but this guy has to realize this targets women with a bias. Men: "Don't masturbate or have sex for fun!"... Damn that sucks.. Women: "Don't masturbate or have sex for fun!.. oh and don't ever release an egg again". Wait I cant exist as a woman pre menopausal? Nope
That and I would worry that if people took it too seriously, it could lead to a lot more rape.
Unfortunately, since their joke is badly written, it might be interpreted has you said. Yet, please notice, with the title of this law ( “Contraception Begins at Erection Act” ) that it ~~is targeting~~ was supposed to target men.
Both the clitoris and the nipples can become erect. (I know it's a joke but I can help but smile thinking of an erect clitoris) Lol
Yes it's fun to look at this joke in different ways and to think of how it could be written in much better ways.
LMAO. are they seroius?!!!!!!!
Doesn't look serious, but it is funny!
I love that an actual person wasted their time writing this and bringing it up with their colleagues lol
From erection to resurrection?
I recommend the battle beast cover! It just sounds so much better to me with noora singing the lyrics
Wouldn't this make more sense as "conception"?
Not if you understand what satire is.
To be fair, the article doesn’t give his party affiliation and if you’re just scrollin’ on by this sounds like it could easily be from a RWNJ who believes masturbation and sex for funsies are sins and the bible should be law. Wikipedia says he’s a dem; I know nothing about him but the quote from him doesn’t read to me as ‘every sperm is sacred.’ Then again it is Mississippi so before reading the actual bill I was only 51% sure it was satire.
Sure, some may say it’s absurd, but masturbation inspector is a good paying, high quality American job that cannot be exported overseas, and not a job I’d trust to AI.
That state senator is a visionary!
Cue the cast of Monty Python singing, ”Every sperm is sacred...."
so it's looking to ban masturbation in mississippi.
Nah, edging is still legal
This could absolutely be used to keep prisoners in prison, and also probably criminalize gay men.
This is taking No Nut November to a whole new level
Life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous, ongoing process.
3.5 billion, give or take a few years. There's some evidence life goes back to 4 billion years, but it's not as well-attested as 3.5.
..... So is he trolling or what?
He's screwing with conservatives, yes.
Good! We need to STOP KILLING KIDS (unless it's with Gun Control!)! Wait a Democrat wrote this? Just kidding this is STUPID!
If the Democrats aren't going to be useful, I'm glad they've at least decided to be a little funny.
It's a race to the bottom now. And the Republicans have a huge head start. Dems are nosediving to catch up.
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