A Boring Dystopia

I'm not sure if she's laughing hysterically or crying.

For anybody wondering what the cost is to using their service, this quote from their website about sums it up:

Credit Genie charges a recurring fee of $4.99 per month or $3.49 biweekly to maintain a user's bank account connection. Paying the bank connection fee does not guarantee approval for a Cash Advance.

So essentially, if you're borrowing from them, you'll pay $60/yr in fees if you can afford $5 a month, or, more likely if you're in the kind of financial situation where you're having to take out $100 micro-loans because your bank balance is consistently hitting zero, you'll get stuck with the $3.49 biweekly option that I'm sure they totally don't heavily push you towards. That's $90/yr.

You get charged the fee whether or not you borrow from them at all, and what do you want to bet they do nothing to notify inactive users of their recurring charges?

If anyone is curious this is the process

1. Be fucked
2. Payday loan
3. Payday
4. 600% are you fucking kidding me?
5. What's the minimum?
6. I'll pay this the rest of my life I guess
7. Be fucked by high interest loan
8. Beg for money from family, friends, co-workers
9. Thank God now I'm back to zero
10. Still exactly as fucked as before

The Old Poor standard method

1. Be Fucked
2. Beg for money from family, friends, co-workers, new GF, new GF's roommate, A dog owner you met at a dog park, Mormon missionaries, your landlord, your landlords ugly kid, your cousin, total strangers after you pretend you have the same name as them and act just JAZZED about it, anyone you suspect is sexually attracted to you, your nanna's bridge group, other poor people, the homeless, people who speak the same language you do and are having a celebration at a public park after you convince them your ''John's Kid'' or ''Tia Marta's thursday church preacher'' literally anyone.
3. Somehow still exactly as fucked as before but now you feel HELLA GUILT, because Tia Marta made you go to church on thursday and the preacher is very convincing. But at least you can't be LEGALLY obligated to pay a loan shark money, and you saved a lot of time.

Brb, I'm gonna take one of these out and apply to Caleb Hammer

I feel sick, this is revolting

drained my bank account, maxed my credit cards, but credit genie was there to help me take on more short term debt.

Now you too can easily make a ten dollar coffee cost twenty!

phew crisis averted