this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
417 points (97.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
32206 readers
3242 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
It's an evolution from when people used to take newspapers or magazines to read while pooping.
We know we need fibre now. If it’s taking you more than 20 seconds to shit you’re gonna die early.
What if I start pooping in 20 seconds and just shit so much it takes 10 minutes to stop?
20 seconds is the full duration. 1-2s to start.
Relentlessly shitting for ten minutes lol
Unironically this is a basically true thing as well.
If it routinely takes you so long to shit that you... need to read something?
You have some kind of serious dietary ~~deficiency~~ imbalance, and/or some kind of gastro-intestinal or possibly musculature or even neurological problem going on.
Difference being that you generally throw away a newspaper, whereas the surface of your smart phone is almost certainly the object that most people spend the most or second most time touching during a day, they rarely wash it, and they also carry it with them everywhere.
It is astoundingly unhygenic to use a phone on the shitter.
Oh, you washed your hands afterwards?
... Did you wash the phone screen?
Is it that bad? Just being in the presence of poop? If that’s the case we should change shirts and pants after a poop.
I wipe with the help of my hands but never my phone so it makes sense to wash my hands.
Back in my pocket it goes when I’m done, then I wipe and wash hands.
I also wash the toilet seat, flush handle and taps after using the bathroom. /s
It is that bad, because most people do not continue to finger their assholes when they're not in the bathroom.
...
Touch butt. Touch phone.
Only clean hands?
Touch phone again, you're touching your butt again.
Touch face after touching phone?
You have stuck your finger in your butt and then directly in to your face.
Put phone in pocket?
Yeah, now your pocket has your butt in it.
...
Bacteria adhere to and will keep growing on a phone.
Just think of how clean rules work for a surgeon doing prep.
Now, the danger is not as extreme as contamination isn't going under the skin... but you are consistently touching a dirty, potentislly infectious surface all the time, and then touching everything else.
https://time.com/4908654/cell-phone-bacteria/
...
I cannot believe I need to explain this, but unless you have shit all over your shirt and pants, you do not need to wash them every time you poop.
If you have shitstains on your underwear, yes, you do need to wash them, and generally speaking, you should be changing your underwear more often than other articles of clothing... though if you sweat a lot from your arm pits, change your shirts or under shirts often as well.
Do you use both hands when you shit? I don’t.
”I cannot believe I need to explain this…”
You don’t lol. Chill out. I don’t have shit all over my phone either and I don’t “touch butt touch phone.”
If you sit on a toilet, take a shit and use your phone at the same time, and then only wash your hands...
Your phone likely now has bacteria from your butt on it.
If you now touch your phone after washing your hands, without washing/cleaning the phone screen... your hands now have your butt's bacteria back on them again, negating much of the point of washing your hands.
Germ theory does not stop existing and being correct because a smartphone is involved.
Dude, even if you don't take your phone out of your pocket it could get shit on it. In fact, there is never a time when whatever you're touching or putting in your mouth is totally, 100% poop free unless it's fresh out of sterilization. Everything has shit on it.
You got butt bacteria on every surface of every room you fart in.
Your phone is not much worse.
Dang I thought smartphones provided temporary relief from germ theory. Stupid dumbphones.