this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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7.Comedy Heaven

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Superpower - Simon the likeable. I come across to everyone as so calming, disarming, friendly and persuasive that I can convince anyone to do anything just by talking to them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

You emit a powerful neurotoxin from your sweat glands that kills any dog within a five mile radius. To people you just smell like chocolate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You're now a cat, and you can only communicate by meows

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

ฅ^>⩊<^ ฅ

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

No extra downside needed. You will never feel the trust of a deep personal relationship again, since everyone will react with the same unknowing compliance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

FUCK this cuts deep.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Everyone who interacts with you immediately forgets who you are or why they are doing what you convince them to do as soon as they stop seeing and hearing you. They will continue to do as you instructed them, but they won't know why. Once it's done, they will continue life as though they've never met you unless you introduce yourself again.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Hi I'm Simon the likeable!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That sounds like a bonus power.

Get them to do my bidding and they don't even know about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

And you can get all the personal space and down time you need as no one can ever get clingy or stalkerish towards you. This would be an amazing power.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Don't just hand them steroids??