Asklemmy

48193 readers

875 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

how did you and your partner change after having a baby? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/30568522

I've heard several stories about couples that suddenly stop having sex, start snapping at each other for stupid bs, your girlfriend who was so sweet and supporting becomes her mother, a raging, yelling psychopath, looking for excuses to be passive aggressive, inviting her friends back home when all you want to do is rest after your workday, your boyfriend, so passionate about you is suddenly cold towards you and wants to be left alone. Before having a child you were inseparable, now it's like you hate each other and rant about your loved one with your friends...

I couldn't survive such a radical personality change.

Does this phase eventually runs its course?

How do you find the mental fortitude to ignore the stupid bs your partner does or says?

How would you describe love to your partner a year after having a baby?

Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Whatever is there before baby will be made a thousand fold. Children are amplifiers.

If you and your partner already have a culture of flexibility and support and caring for each other you will be fine. It will still be work and there will still be tough times, but you'll be able to get through. You'll probably come out closer than you thought possible.

If either of you have bubbling resentments or distrust, or very rigid ideas about who should be doing what and when, the difficulties may be insurmountable.