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how did you and your partner change after having a baby? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/30568522

I've heard several stories about couples that suddenly stop having sex, start snapping at each other for stupid bs, your girlfriend who was so sweet and supporting becomes her mother, a raging, yelling psychopath, looking for excuses to be passive aggressive, inviting her friends back home when all you want to do is rest after your workday, your boyfriend, so passionate about you is suddenly cold towards you and wants to be left alone. Before having a child you were inseparable, now it's like you hate each other and rant about your loved one with your friends...

I couldn't survive such a radical personality change.

Does this phase eventually runs its course?

How do you find the mental fortitude to ignore the stupid bs your partner does or says?

How would you describe love to your partner a year after having a baby?

Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

a raging, yelling psychopath, looking for excuses to be passive aggressive

My wife once became psycho and start yelling at me because I yawned while reading a story to our baby. At 3am.

All parents are differents, and all babies are different. On my side, 3 first months were pure nightmare and it took until 3 or 4th year before things going back to "normal".

I won't lie. Becomming parent is not the "wonderfull experience" depicted by society. There is no magic hormone that makes you happy of wiping shit at 4am, or hearing scream during hours because that little potatos decided to screw your day. But, there are hormons that will makes that little shit the most important things in the world.

You won't be a couple anymore, you will be parents. You'll find a new balance, hopefully with your partner, but things will nerver be the same. it's scary, but it's also the most natural thing in the world.

Is there any way to know if you and your partner are going to make it and remain a couple after having a child?

I think if you already went through hard times with success, like loss of work, serious illness or injury, depression, harassment, trauma, whatever, you are well prepared for parenting and should be able to go through without damage. If you have lived your life peacefully without any waves until now, parenting might be challenging for your relationship.