neurodiverse

1854 readers

1 users here now

What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned

Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

founded 4 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

How do i support people? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So a few weeks ago i had a bout with a close friend of mine (autistic nb) who lashed at me because i wasn't supportive enough when they had a rough patch. I agree with this assessment mostly but pointed out to them that as im autistic i couldnt read the room and i was shut down that this is exactly a lot of autistic man's way to make excuses for not putting in any effort to improve their communication.

After that i did a bit of self exploration and i did recognize that i do actually have problems with this (though with reservations that aren't relevant here) and i feel like while most things i am completely able to communicate assertively and even proactively and have been praised for my emotional intelligence multiple times but this communication thing to me still feels like i am just playing cards in my head and my deck is completely unprepared for this scenario - someone going through it and needing support.

So does anyone have any resources (books/articles/anything i can read mostly cause im not a video person) i can start on this?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I solve this the autistic way and just ask people how they want me to support them. It may not be romantic where I automatically know what they need and do it without them telling me, but it can't be wrong if I'm reliant on how they tell me they like to be supported.

I think the book I read that helped me understand communicating was "Feeling good together" by David Burns. I did a lot of the techniques given to make me a better communicator and listener

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Yeah that's one thing i tried and will probably go back to it since i wasn't making it often enough to stick. Also saved the book! Thanks a lot!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I think directly asking is part of an ideal non-autistic strategy too. There's a huge difference between being 'neurotypical' and being a damned mind reader.