this post was submitted on 12 May 2025

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I'm about to fucking crack (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So next week my 2 yo's sons kindergarten are planning a zoo trip. Apparently they will be talking about it before and after. It costs the kids nothing and the teachers tickets are coming out of a collective fund we already paid money into. My wife really wants him to go, she grew up not being able to go to a lot of school trips due to growing up in foster care/neglect and really fears him getting ostracized. She says she knows what it was like to not go and it really comes close to her trauma so its not really a subject I can argue against. The teachers obviously recommend going, so I'm all alone in saying no. I would stay home, perhaps prepare our own outing and look into talking about animal liberation but I feel so alone in it. My wife gave me the option to veto the trip even though she really wants him to go.

There really is not much more to argue between us too, my focus is animal liberation, hers is how not partaking in some activities alienates one from society. And in a society based on animal oppression a lot of activities require some form of animal oppression. I don't know how this contradiction is going to resolve and it's making me very anxious.

How do you cope with the feeling of loneliness? Do you have good kid friendly material relating to animal liberation? What could be a good alternative for us that day? What if I just gave in? I can't do this for every zoo/farm outing anyway.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 18 hours ago

For me I try to decide these things by looking at "what if the non-human animals were humans" because I still have a very speciest view on the world. This particular zoo had human exhibits not too long ago so it's not even such a big hypothetical. For me that would be very hard no. What is it that our great-grandparents should have done in this case? And how is it different in this case? Can this be a visual lesson about how animals are forced to live in captivity and made a spectacle out of? I doubt the latter, because I can't put this in a proper context for a two-year old no matter how clever he is, he doesn't know about violence yet. He has no framework of reference. I intend to talk to him about captivity, and already do whenever farm animals appear in books, but for him it would be just a happy day looking at animals with his friends. Also I wouldn't be there this is a kindergarten outing, I'm not sure if in other countries parents go with the kids on such outings but here the parents aren't welcome because it would interfere with how the teachers run the trip.

And I disagree that he wouldn't remember this trip, he will forget about it some day, but he remembers and talks about trips we took days ago so this would be on his mind for at least a couple days during which he processes it and the view of animals in captivity becomes normalized. I know I can't forbid him from seeing zoos and I don't intend to be a strict parent that ensures his kid lives vegan no matter what. He will have to make choices on his own I know that and I will give him the freedom to make immoral choices when he can make such a distinction, but for the time being I have to make sure that he can understand what he sees. And for this specific trip I don't know how I can make him understand what he is going to see/had seen without a long rant about animal liberation and captivity that would fly over his had.

My mind is fairly made up about him not going, I'm open to be challenged however. But I was more looking for advice on how to talk to him about animal liberation, if there were kid friendly resources out there to aid etc. How other vegans cope with the feeling of having to fight your loved ones. I am going to make an alternative trip with him, it's not going to be an ordinary day, and I am looking if we have animal sanctuaries that we may be go to, or like wildlife preserve.

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