this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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What do people owe each other as part of living in a society? When you become friends with someone, are you opting into owing that person more than what you owe everyone else? Intuition tells me the answers here are "Respect and dignity" and "Yes" respectively, but I suspect these views aren't as common as I was led to believe.
I've spent around a decade following just about any avenue to self-improvement, with the goal of reclaiming all I lost in the destructive years. Rebuilding the connections I lost is the hardest part. If redemption isn't possible, then what's the point of seeking improvement? And if I can't have those friendships back, how do I go about forging something like them?
Becoming friends means you owe them: a link to something funny you saw on the internet, Active listening, and an excuse to leave the house sometime
God what I wouldn't give for friends who could offer even that.
I got to imagine a big part of self improvement is being less wrong and being less wrong would probably lead to more enriching relationships and activities than if you say around in old, destructive habits while pushing everyone away with your shitty decision making
Exactly. If you want to be liked, you have to make an effort to be likeable.
I guess the trick about changing your behavior is that people don't see things you aren't doing anymore. But they're also keeping an eye out for it, so anything you do that bears even a passing resemblance is conflated with destructive behavior.