this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
499 points (99.6% liked)
The Onion
5989 readers
787 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Hmm. I'm not entirely sold that a flamethrower would be an effective weapon against a modern main battle tank.
Do you have ANY idea how hot a typical dragon fireball is??
Besides, Fire Dragons are mostly cooks, glassblowers and welders.
Anti-Tank Dragons are most typically Rust Dragons or Mud Dragons.
Hmm. No, I don't.
considers
Hmm. I mean, it's orange, right? So figure black-body radiation determines the color.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-body_radiation
So maybe something like 2000°F, 1100°C?
But I'm more thinking that a tank probably has a lot of thermal mass, and I figure that the dragon probably isn't keeping sustained fire on the thing for all that long. I mean, I've no doubt that dragon fire would be horrific in an anti-personnel role, but against heavy armor? It's gonna take a lot of energy to heat that up.
EDIT: I feel like a "how would the 1st Armored Division do against Smaug" would be a good [email protected] question.
I am sorry... but you do know all Fire Dragons are classified under Magma Breathers right? Do you honestly think dragons shit on their entire food chain, topple kingdoms and hoard rich people stuff, gems, jewels, rubies, the swords of kings.... just to emphasize how little they give af..... by blowing hot air?
Yes Fire Dragons can easily blow hot air the way a roaring fire can easily blow hot air up into the sky, but if you think that is all Fire Dragons can do you need to educate yourself.
No, they create a quantum tunnel to the heart of a nearby magma chamber and then dispense it directly onto the face of whatever they want to melt, I feel silly even having to explain this honestly.
Prove me wrong and drive a tank through this I dare you
https://youtu.be/grVuuaecwgA
NCD would tell you that question has already been answered by an anime called GATE.
Does the dragon fire deplete the tank of oxygen?
That could cause engine issues and crew issues, depending on duration.