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How do you deal with a capitalist parent? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

NSFW 14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Background: Last fall, I was hit by a car while walking and I fractured an endplate in my spine. I filed a lawsuit to be compensated for both damages and my pain and suffering. Turns out the car that hit me was uninsured, which means the pain and suffering portion would be on my car insurance (I live in a no-fault state and policies are expensive but it means your car insurance covers accidents even as a pedestrian). The insurance company is not paying, citing an arcane law that two family members cannot be on the same policy unless they live in the same house. My father and I live separately but bundle our cars to save money.

While this is a legal softball, I decided to not persue the punitive damages because the situation was so infuriating and my mental health was at stake. When I told this to my mother, she said "if you made more money, you could have had your own insurance policy and this wouldn't have happened."

I am considering total estrangement, as this comment was not only singularly offensive but is indicative of her draconian worldview, which is "got mine, fuck poor people."

Does anyone have a secret for how to deal with a parent this shitty? Should I even bother?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

how do i deal with them?

I dont deal with them at all. I dont see them at birthdays (theirs, mine, or my childrens). I dont invite them to my kids school events. I dont call them for advice. I dont respond when they tell me something is broken in their home and can i help out? I do not send Christmas gifts, i do not keep gifts sent to me or mine. I give my kids rhe option to keep or send back the occasional gift they receive. They send them back. Ive been transparent with my kids why i donot ha e a relationship with my folks. Im trying to not perpetuate the whole thing.

Ive had moments of anger where i really fucking wanted to say something, whether in response or unprovoked but realized that id be better off if i didnt even bother. I dont need to be cruel in return. Silence is perfectly adequate. It just sorta stuck that way.