this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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I have a friend group for 25 years, I will be 33 this year.
It's always sad to read replies to posts like these with people saying they have no friends.
And since I am a guy I can literally not talk to some of them for months and just literally pickup where we left off and talk for hours without it feeling awkward, forced whatever
Just using your post as a springboard to get all ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
but I wonder how much of the idea of "women's friendships decay, men's friendships can pick up exactly where they left off" is based on reality.... And how much of it is just a stereotype based on social norms that are no longer true. Y'know, like the idea that "women have naturally better emotional intelligence" (the reality is that most young boys were and on some level still are discouraged from engaging with emotions in general, and it's hard to get good at something with no practice)
I can't even cite personal anecdotal experience as an argument for or against because my friendship group is mostly queer dudes with the occasional transgender chick or enby person.
It doesn't apply in my case. I'm a woman and I have a female friend (former coworker, she's moved back to NI now) who I can just pick up with where we left off. She forgot to install telegram for almost a year on her new phone so I had to text her to remind her I exist, and we just went back to chatting like nothing happened. I'm autistic and she's a bit weird, so I don't know if that affects anything. But we can go a few months without chatting and it doesn't matter. In my case, if someone is important/significant to me, then it doesn't matter if a few months go by. Same with the few relatives I get on with. If we're talking several years, then yeah, people change, grow, move on.