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First job as software engineer. Realized I don't love it as much as I love the humanities/social sciences. What to do? (hexbear.net)

submitted 20 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So I just finished my masters in CS and got a job as a junior software engineer. When I first chose CS for my bachelors, I did so because it was somewhat intuitive for me. But I wasn't crazy about it. Thought the interest would grow over time. I've had undiagnosed ADHD throughout my life and thought the difficulties with CS during my bachelor's (which took almost 7 years) was due to the ADHD and not due to lack of interest in the subject. Learned coping strategies and did my master's. Graduated with a 4.0 GPA so I'm not bad at it for sure.

Now I'm medicated and I finally feel like I'm able to be 100% of myself. But despite that, I still just do the tasks at work for the sake of doing it. I like the problem solving aspect but it isn't something I dream about every day. I see my mentor working in the same company live and breathe this stuff and I can tell there is a clear difference in the thought process between both of us. It's easy for him to produce great quality work as he's naturally curious about this stuff. Me, I just try to get it done. It's not lead by curiosity for me. What grabs my interest is stuff like literature, history, linguistics, philosophy, sociology, movies etc. I don't need any incentive for those things. I'm naturally curious about those fields.

Now I'm wondering if I should still stick with software engineering where I'm decently okay but not that curious about it . Or should I consider a career more aligned with the social sciences/humanities? I don't even know what careers are in those fields that would be comparable in terms of pay/growth to software engineering. Is the choice between money and passion or can I have both to some degree in the non-SWE fields?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I don't have much advice but can offer some solidarity as an ADHD comrade with a similar struggle. I was a few years into grad school for a Ph.D. in chemistry when I realized I don't like it, and although I was good in classes for it in undergrad the grad school experience just required a different type of thinking and quick recall of vast amounts of information that I wasn't even very good at. And I was never great in the lab anyway. I also realized I didn't really fuck with most of the job opportunities that would be available. Pharma is a fucking shit industry to work in and the pay isn't even that good for how much education is required. So I was losing motivation on account of my disdain for the field and for grad school in general, and when I got diagnosed with ADHD the meds sure helped but still, they couldn't make me desire to stay in the lab for 12 hrs a day and they didn't make it easy to write papers either.

Then I failed my dissertation defense (fucking asshole old head committee members), I still have edits to add to my thesis so it is acceptable to them and no desire to do it. I've been stuck in this limbo over a year now.

Finally though, I found a field of work that I should be able to get a job in very soon. Its wastewater management, which is chemistry adjacent and I am loving learning about it. The work itself and math is fairly basic to do - titrations and basic algebra. The employer for this job is a municipal water district, so its even got a pension. And the pay is lower than i could make in pharma, and the top end pay is lower than I would make if I stuck it out in pharma to be a department head, and there arent the potential stock options I could get with a career in pharma, but IDC, I despise that whole industry. They exploit bachelor educated scientists to work overtime and earn less than median salary, while those who stick it out get stock options, which are still just a fraction of the value the CEOs are making. All to manufacture a novel medication that normal people won't be able to afford anyway.

So I guess my advice would be to open your mind to things that are adjacent even if your education doesn't perfectly apply. And also, don't worry about not having the same passion as others. If you can go to work, get it done, aren't working unpaid overtime and can collect a decent check then you are doing better than most. Try to find passions in your free time and use your free time to do some organizing and/or mutual aid. This will help your normal work feel more "worth it" even if the work itself is drudgery

[–] [email protected] 6 points 15 hours ago

Then I failed my dissertation defense (fucking asshole old head committee members)

That is appalling, and 100% on your advisor. You should never let someone do the defense unless it is basically a formality and you are completely certain they will pass. A good advisor will always tell you if you need to tighten things up well before you get to that point. Most people end up with some revisions, but letting someone defend and then not passing them is unconscionable. Really sorry that happened to you.