Technology

I'm on the contrary attracted to things real and natural with all their hardship.

So-o I'm too much hardship for those I'm trying to approach romantically. Also lack willpower. And normies' ideas of detectable bravery, kindness, persistence, sense of humor, creativity and other good qualities are really far from my personality. Those who know me long say good things (not sure how sincere). But relationships are about trial and error, and trial is usually not long enough to reach the stage where I'm not deemed an error. EDIT: And sometimes they do, but in those cases I am.

And frankly I'm confused and panic when I encounter that real and natural, like a really good sewing machine from 70s which is probably still operational (I've noticed one lever lacking, but it's used rarely and can be replaced with a screwdriver), but cleaning it from cockroach shit looks like a gigantic undertaking. I'd strongly prefer to just turn it on. But then I'd still have to clean it even if nothing tears, burns or gets jammed, and before that I'll enjoy the smell of heated cockroach shit.

OK, that's offtopic, just a real human, from common sense, should be a much more complicated matter than cockroach shit in a mechanism which is mostly fine (with good manuals, and a high-end machine produced in the olden days before planned obsolescence and when functionality mirrored ability).