this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
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Why do they not just beam the shit directly out of their colons into space?
Furthermore why is Kirk writing to Scotty on the bathroom stall wall when Scotty is onboard the Enterprise and thus cannot read the message telling him not too. Most illogical.
This is my theory of why they seem to have someone in the transporter room all the time in TNG. In between away missions they're just cleaning out colons all day. Keeps their skills sharp.
Im pretty sure the replicators can recycle recycle any ordinary matter.
While you're on it, who the hell writes an 'i' bottom up (excluding cursive)? It's a clean line. I'd expect something closer to a '✓'.
Just make it the dot of the "i" that trails up.
This sounds like that stupid pottermore thing Rowling posted about. The one where before the invention of indoor plumbing and the subsequent retrofit of restrooms at Hogwarts, the student body and faculty just regularly pissed and shat themselves and magically disappeared the mess and stains.
At least this beaming approach would (presumably) involve disappearing the waste before they shat themselves. Although the idea of Kirk (SHATner, lol) sitting in his captain's seat on the bridge grunting with exertion mid-battle command as the Klingon war birds decloak, loading his pants, and requesting an "evac" of his pants from Scotty only to find out the transporters are down is... chefs kiss.
I like to think that there is some advanced R&D vessel out there with an eccentric captain who has ordered all toilets be dismantled on the ship. Instead, they must call down to some poor transporter tech who's dedicated role is "waste management". They have to lock onto their target's location and beam the contents of their colons and bladders directly to the material supply for the food replicators (you heard me). Of course, accidents happen. Colons get chunks removed. Feces ends up in the wrong locations (unintentionally? ... ). New alien crewmembers with exotic anatomies like branching or migrating colons make the transport techs go on strike. Waste matter not properly dissentigrated before being used by the replicators leads to an e coli outbreak from very not good tasting tea. That, subsequently, triples shifts for "waste management" transport techs with all the diarrhea going around. That's like 4 episodes right there. Star Trek: Lower Decks writers, are you taking notes?!
Couldn't he just lift the seat in his chair and poop in the toilet that's probably under it?
I mean look how big and thick it is. There's gotta be plumbing under there.
Starships don't waste any raw material. Your reconstituted poop is tomorrow's sick bay treatment or lasagna.
Also, beaming doesn't go "up", it just "goes", so you kinda have to ignore all that to enjoy this joke:-)
I did and I do.
I knew I could count on you! :-D
All that extra work extending the I upwards was wasted.
I mean, I literally lolled - people probably looked over at me strangely and I didn't even care:-P. So I wouldn't call it entirely wasted:-).
Well considering the molecules have to be transported it's possible the wall interferes with the molecules of the pencil lead as they are being torn apart and turned into energy tho I suppose thinking that way it would probably be more of a smoky dot stain rather than a line
But the molecules are NOT "transported" (as in a translation shifting, either in the direction of the transport nor in any direction - plus why assume that the ship is straight UP, it could be like a 90-degree angle while it is in orbit?).
Instead, the molecules are destroyed, being converted into energy, and then the energy is... [insert sciency-wiency stuff to make me sound smart:-P just don't forget to replace this text before posting, you dummy!]. And then they are (re-)assembled at the end location.
Except, of course, when that isn't the case.
Star Trek canon is pretty close to Doctor Who canon in being "there isn't much of one" despite some Trekkies thinking otherwise.
Or, hear me out, Barclay is somehow a literal god, and makes his own rules?
Naw, you're probably right.
BUT...!?
Because Star Trek wasn't written by JK Rowling?
Well yeah Star Trek represents a diverse and accepting society, Rowling couldn’t comprehend that.