this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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I think 90% of my posts are deleted before sending because I just know that someone somewhere will find a way to be mad about it
But OK - here is a post that I would usually have deleted :)
The trick, plumbercraic, is not minding that they will be mad.
Over the years I've learned it's ok to ignore if it seems like someone wants to pick a fight. Not everything has to be a debate, and no it doesn't make you look weak. You just got better shit to do than argue with strangers on the internet. :)
I've taken on the mantra of "Participate, but be respectful." That's led me to post a few times where I normally wouldn't.
Realize that there is nothing wrong with pissing someone off because they disagree with you. It's only wrong if you pissed them off because of how you said it, or if you are closed minded about being proven wrong.
And in the real world, a down vote doesn't matter.
thats reddit, ppl hate way less here, id prime myself to argue before I made a comment on reddit, made me a more argumentative person
Just remember that the people getting mad at you are not deleting any of their posts.
I do that quite a lot too
That's a horrible take and you should feel bad.
But I'm a stranger on the Internet and probably a moron so it's ok to not take me seriously or respond to me.
I get this. I used to use Threads and someone got very angry at me cause I said Labour, supposedly the left wing party in the UK, are “upsetting the right people”, I should have clarified that I don’t think that they are doing a good job, but never mind.
As Someone Somewhere, I urge you to post more.
I cannot believe this account is two years old and not made just for this comment haha.
I've also been posting less after managing to upset someone. We can have a club. The shy posters club.
You're not shy, you're just a normally adjusted human.
It's normal to want to avoid being abused and insulted for, say, having an opinion which is marginally different to the in-group consensus. But unfortunately that's what happens when we post on text-based social media. Apparently the medium does something to people's minds, turning them into nasty vindictive unpleasant versions of themselves.
I'm a pretty self-confident person in real life and even I think twice about posting anything here that contradicts the prevailing groupthink. The inevitable insults and abuse and mockery are sometimes just not worth it.
Personally, I have hope that if a larger variety of people are posting and commenting (typical lurkers and such) then hopefully the echo chamber aggression will weaken a little, and hopefully foster a positive and friendly community. I'm trying to lead by example :)
Refreshing optimism!
Unfortunately I'm not sure the hope is warranted. Putting a lot of people with different views in front of each other, over text, does not, in general, by default, seem to go that well. At least not going by the experience of the first 30 years of the social internet. You tend to get the worst aspect of human group dynamics and speech-policing without the self-moderation that comes with in-person contact - i.e. the effect of audible voices, and visible faces and body language.
I'm not a complete pessimist or I wouldn't be here. But I think these issues can only be solved by activist moderation that enforces rules with a light touch while remaining tolerant and always assuming good faith. And, of course, that kind of moderation is time-consuming and very, very hard. It's a skill that hardly any communities have access to. But it is at least a reasonable goal.
I see where you're coming from, historically the internet and large communities tend to foster that kind of aggression. I, for one, will be striving to build a positive environment though, and just maybe, we'll see those fruits lead into a brighter future :). I myself am applying for some moderator positions to help take up that effort!
That's great news. Good luck.
I’ve had abuse for posting a short story that validated the group think. Several times.
I've only just managed to overcome my membership in the shy posters club haha! Hey, keep a seat warm for me while I'm away, okay?
OMG really? How COULD you...
Neglect to offer your valuable opinion. Hey, you're a human and have valuable things to say. Haters gon hate. Fuck 'em.
Thank you :), and I'll just let you know, that this comment brought a smile to my face. I'm proud of you.