this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost
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Not gay, I just fear the idea of being around another human. I am incapable of romance.
It's easy. Just pretend everyone is a cat.
I think the cops would show up if I just randomly give a stranger head pats after allowing them smell my finger.
"Hey don't worry about shitting in the closet; I'll scoop it up later."
As an awkard person I'll admit that it would reassure me somewhat. I mean, I wasn't going to but I'm glad it's an option. It's like feeling being accepted despite messing up before potentially messing up, which allows us to skip that dreadful moment between messing up and being either forgiven or despised. And come on, imagine shitting in a closet by, uh, mistake, and not fully expecting that your entire social live is now in ruins and you need to delete all of your social media and move to different country. It could be worded better, sure, but it's a neat gesture.
15 years later
"Hey, the closet shitter is here! Man, remember that time you shit in my closet?"