Hi,
I'm a second-year PhD student in mathematics at a large university in the US. I really like the research group that I'll be working with; my advisor is great. The issue is, we have strict requirements for quals, and I'm teetering right on the edge of being forced out of the program. I have two more attempts, but afterwards, that's it. And I'm also really bad at the whole test-taking thing, so I don't like my odds.
So, as a young person with an MS in mathematics, what exactly would the options be for me outside of academia? If I flunk out, I want to have some idea in mind for what I can do. My interests in math have always tended towards the more abstract (functional analysis and dynamical systems); it's the quals in either PDEs or numerical analysis (the applied subjects) that are messing me up.
My PhD is stressful and anxiety-inducing, but at least it gives me purpose and direction in life. This time last year after I failed first year PDEs I wound up in a psychiatric ward. So, I want to know what possible options there are so that I don't end up in the same situation. I have issues with a lot of the "standard" options for industry mathematicians though:
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I utterly despise programming. I can not think of a more miserable, dreary existence than becoming a professional programmer, or working in the tech industry and having to code regularly. I know how to do it. I'm doing as much as I need to to study numerical analysis to get that qual over with so I can go on to things in math that I want to do; and in undergrad I double majored in math and CS. But I just can't do it 8 hours a day every day for the rest of my life, and this is a lot of what people recommend.
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I don't want to work in one of those white-collar banking stock brokering environments. From undergrad I know the sorts of people that those places are filled with, and they are not really people that I've ever been able to get along with. Even teaching "math for business majors" my students made me feel uncomfortable at times. (Plus, there are people with specialized degrees in these fields who would be better for them; plus, again, those jobs seem to be coding and solving PDEs). In particular I've been personally fucked over by the insurance industry enough that I will never work there.
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I could try to go into teaching I suppose. I've quite enjoyed it, and I get good reviews. But, aside from my TA duties here, I have no formal qualifications. My understanding is that most places require an advanced degree specific to teaching in order to be a teacher, and I don't think I can put myself through more years of graduate school coursework just to go for my consolation-prize career.
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I can't easily fall back on my family for support. We are not on speaking terms.
It's an absolute long-shot, but are there any careers that feel like the research part of grad school, but without the stuff that's miserable about it (the coursework and bureaucracy)? Money is not an issue for me at all. If I can get over the hurdle of early-on coursework and quals, I will live a far more fulfilling life in grad school making 19k/year than I would as a wall-street tech CEO investor. But that's far from a guarantee at this point, and I just don't even know where to begin looking for any jobs at all I would want to do outside of academia.
How broadly do you dislike programming? Data science kinda stuff could work for you if the main focus is on modleing and understading data, even if that means actually implementing the models and the algorthms by programming.
After undergrad, it seemed like I had two career paths. I could either apply for PhDs in mathematics, work 90 hours a week for 19k/year in a state a thousand km away from anyone I've ever known; or I could have tried for a cushy entry-level coding job making 6 figures starting salary in an area close to all my friends from undergrad, and working something normal like 40 hours a week. I chose the former.
I am currently doing what little coding I currently am in an effort to get it over and done with ASAP. My plan is to never write another line of code again once I'm done with my numerical analysis courses.
90 hours a week math? Sounds unrealistic, reminds me of somebody at the faculty who said he would spend similar hours at the office during his phd. He also said it was out of guilt and the extra work didn’t really amount to anything due to fatigue.
To me it sounds like you should first address whatever mental issues you have going on.
Looking at my calendar from this past semester I was in 3 courses, which each met for 3 hours had 8-10 hours of homework each week. I attended 4 weekly seminars (1 of which I was helping organize; two of which I presented in some weeks). I taught one course which met for 4 hours, double that for class prep. I had 5 hours regularly scheduled in the tutoring center, plus an office hour. I'm slow at grading, so it often took me 4-6 hours per week. Plus an hour a week for my advising meeting, and we're at 60 hours before I even begin talking about when I'm doing my own research - I typically try to devote my weekends and also Thursday afternoons in their entirety to either reading math books of interest to me or papers of interest to me (I do the rest of that stuff MTWF).
So it's not quite 90 hours a week every week. There are weeks when the tutoring lab was shortstaffed so I needed to pick up an extra three hours there. There were times when I would proctor a 3-hour exam. There were lots of severe injuries in my department this semester so I've covered people's classes too. So there were a lot of 90 hour work weeks just due to the structure of everything, but I guess saying that every week is a 90 hour week is an exaggeration. I don't think I've worked fewer than 75-80 hours a week all semester though.
I am not unconvinved that you actually do spend an insane amount of time at the office.
I am also convinved that you could be 50%+ more efficient if you just cut corners where you needed to. And also, not on the brink of a mental breakdown.
I only spend one hour a week in my office for my office hour.
Is your brain unable to comprehend what I mean by ”at the office”?
Evidently.
Try being a little less stupid then