this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy

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I need advice because Iโ€™m scared lol.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

This dude just casually handing out the secret to being a good conversationalist. Ask questions, listen to the answers and follow them like a trail of breadcrumbs. All of a sudden you're having a conversation, and you won't be worrying about your courage

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago

i'll never cease to be amazed at how much the old ways still work.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 15 hours ago (5 children)

Which works great until the other person responds with 2-5 words max every time you ask a question (dating apps)

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

That's a good thing, imagine if you ended up with that person.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

I do and have been but there's only so many times I can try

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

A good solution here is to ask open ended questions instead of ones with a yes or no etc answer and to talk about their interests.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

So far it seems as though they're interested in nothing

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

There's nothing in their profiles about their interests?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

At least in my age range most of the profiles are pretty generic, asking about stuff in them usually results in bare minimum generic responses or no response at all

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Wow, that's pretty dire. I have tried dating apps and didn't really ever find much luck in them and started looking in places where dating isn't the goal instead like hobbies or common community spaces and slowly building relationships that way.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I've been thinking of doing that, tried some clubs in my area but it was mostly people in their 40s+

Kinda want to try get into climbing, I'm in the gym a lot anyway and I think most of them come with gym memberships too, I hear it's quite diverse but also not sure how social it is

Normal gym for sure feels like everyone wants to be left alone

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

k
lmao
wot u think
ngl dat flips
brb ohio

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

Honestly at least that would convey a bit of personality lol

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago

Those people aren't a good match for you (or maybe anyone).

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah trying to have a conversation on a dating app is like pissing into the wind

Edit: interesting username, is that a reference to the old flash player gnash?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

No it's something I came up with when I was 10 and it stuck. Not really a reference to anything