this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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Transfem

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"Act like you've been there before" is a clichΓ© I've heard that means to behave in a situation that is new and exciting to you as if it is something old and familiar to you instead.

As a closeted transfeminine person, I'm thinking about painting my fingernails black - wearing coloured polish in public would be a first for me. And I'm thinking of getting them done at a salon - another first.

I'm so nervous but excited. I know from experience of rocking neutral or clear polish as a cis-looking AMAB person that being super nonchalant about having painted nails in public will lead to me having a better time, which is ironic because rocking painted fingernails in public is like bucket list-level excitement for me. But to assuage my high levels of social anxiety and increase my odds of having a good time, I know I ought to be nonchalant or "act like I've been there before." It's kind of humorous to me, even though I obviously don't think there should be any stigma at all.

The more I dwell on this, the more I realize it's important to me and I should do it. Gotta gather my courage tho! πŸ˜…

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Having your nails painted isn't nearly as scary as it sounds. You might get a second glance sometimes, but mostly people don't really care and it's all in your head. Mine are a nice flashy corral color right now and I haven't had any negative interactions. In a worst case you just kind of get the feeling that people are actively trying to not comment on it.

It honestly works great as a good social filter. Sometimes I'll run into a cashier or someone similar in passing who seems uncomfortable with it(usually older folks), but it's otherwise a good way to find other queer folks or allies in the wild and start a conversation.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thanks for the words of wisdom :). Corral sounds lovely. And thinking of positives helps me reframe it

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just go for it and walk around with it! You can always take it off with a little bit a acetone and a minutes effort if you don't like it!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Good point 😘