this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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Tinder is the worst possible way to get to meet people, unless you’re at least a 9/10 guy or a woman who just wants to hook up, nothing more. At least that’s been my experience, both using the app and talking to friends who have. Meaningful connections are rare.
It might be a regional thing? I live in a Town known for its Technical University, so most of the people on Tinder are socially awkward and tech literate 18-25 y/os who either don't like going to noisy places like bars, clubs etc. or just prefer texting first before committing time to a date (free time is kind of hard to make as a student here).
My own reason was more on the autistic side, as I do NOT recognize flirting unless it is specifically stated. So having an app where both parties can state "hey, we're talking with romantic intentions here!!" was the best solution ever haha (I met my husband within 30mins of installing the app 🤷)
For you yes, that's not the norm. In average cities/towns, it's used for hook ups (shallow ones) and cheating. Can you meet a person there? Sure but odds are very much against it.
Note, I'm talking about Tinder specifically, dating apps are fine.
Hm, maybe. Where I lived, your chances were low if you’re a nerd and/or looking for something serious. Like, most people on tinder were the exact same crowd you‘d also meet in clubs. But it also wasn’t a particularly big town and most people on tinder in my age range were university students from the less nerdy faculties…
Well what should non-autistic people do then?
On an individual level? No idea, I have no experience with that lol
On a systemic level? The problem seems to be that people assume dating apps are only for hookups, so people who are looking for something serious avoid them. So the idea becomes true through self-validation. Breaking that cycle somehow would make everyone involved happier I think?
People don't avoid dating apps because of a belief, they avoid them after they've been ghosted by the 3rd or 4th person in as many weeks.
Its a worse experience for building relationships than just regular life in most cases.