this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
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Assert dominance by eating as per normal and when you encounter a tail, spit it at the chef.
My dad leaves the shell fully on as a stand-alone appetizer of grilled shrimp, so the shrimp is entirely covered in shell. It took until the third time my ex had dinner there for him to ask why the shrimp was so crunchy and for me to realize I’d forgotten to warn him.
Am I eating in the restaurant kitchen or walking back there each time I bite a tail?
Save them all in your cheeks then blast them at the chef like Yoshi
I like each time for extra awkwardness
Oh trust me, I don't need the extra awkwardness!
Chef: (Still holding towel after wiping 13 shrimp tail shells off his face) Back again?!
Me: (Awkwardly hovering in the doorway) Yeah sorry, I was going back and forth on this but I found a shell piece all by itself with no shrimp in it and while I have no reason to put it in my mouth I figured I needed to show conviction to impress my date so... PATOOIE