this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Where do I buy deoxyribose sugar? Can I just use sugar from the supermarket?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Deoxyribose is the 'D' in DNA. Just use the blood of your enemies.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

As long as it's the sperm of your enemies that's fine by be. Might take a bit longer to harvest though.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Yeah man. Just rub sugar water all over your scalp.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Instructions unclear, I poured caramel on my head, now I am ~~bold~~ bald as a billiard ball!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Sorry, I meant bald. Please, excuse my dyslexic-idiot-self.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have treated my scalp with simple syrup as instructed. Does the new hair stick to it or what?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Not exactly.
You’re supposed to apply the treatment and expose your scalp to low-angle sunlight that’s slightly mottled. Something about the incident angle of the light rays paired with the low intensity (due to the dappling) just supercharge the hair growth process.

Experts recommend applying the mixture to your scalp an hour or two before sunset, and going for a walk through a wooded area. You should begin to see results immediately.
The hair will grow in very fast during your walk with a large central cluster that may appear to be a black speck or oblong shape. It will sprout with 6 to 8 longer hairs that may appear to be segmented, and may even move with the lightest breeze or touch. This is normal. It’s common to feel a pinching, itching, or even burning sensation with each hair cluster that appears on your head. If new hair clusters stop appearing while outside, please reapply the sugar-water mixture to your scalp.

It’s not recommended to shower after returning from the forest. This may wash away the delicate new hair clusters before they can root. You should also avoid this in the early morning, as the hair that grows under early morning light is silver and very fine. For some reason this very fine hair has a tendency to grow on your face, even if you have not applied the solution there.

^Source:^ ^I^ ^am^ ^lying.^

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

It must be right because they got doctor in their name!