this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Could you imagine?
“For the crimes of economy-scale larceny, murder, environmental collapse, bribery, tax evasion, and, uhh, sexual battery of a pack of golden retrievers, how do you plea?”
“C’mon, I’m just a little guy!”
“D’aww”
He isn't even going to get the chance to plea for his life. That's a summary execution right there, I should think. Gag him and insert the burning electric wire 1 in./min, starting at the toes.
I'm not an expert, but I'm like five-nines certain a guillotine does not make a "D'aww" sound when activated.
We could build that in. Glue on some googly eyes too.
A nice clownly guffaw right before impact would be delightful.