this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
1032 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26740 readers
3711 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Why did the Bermuda triangle, quicksand, and maybe premature burial and stop drop & roll so capture our minds?

Replace the quarter to call home with swallowing gum or something.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Also what the fuck is swallowing gum.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Rumor has it that if you swallow chewing gum, it will stay lodged in your gut for seven years

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Bad UX decisions is just like swallowing gum because both of them makes me shit myself

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Ah yes of course, just like the apple seeds that grow a tree in your gut.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ok but spontaneous human combustion still got me shook though

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Well it doesn't happen. Something that's 70% water can't explode. Have you ever heard of an animal exploding randomly? There's literally no way for it to happen.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

You should stay away from Sodium then I guess.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Are you my doctor?!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

bursting into flames after my 11th Ramen bowl that day

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)

He forgot to mention all the people just giving you drugs to get you addicted

Fuckin’ D.A.R.E.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Even when I got to university and literally all but one of my friends smoked weed, I still wasn't offered any. I don't think my 'friends' liked me that much..

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Oh man. This is embarrassing, but in college I didn't want to be in any one in-group (I also have some flavor of commitment issue), so I used to push my way into groups and cliques where I wasn't invited. I'd wallow in the palpable social discomfort of "Who the fuck is this?" for quite some time till I got used to it. This was my main way to score "recreational flora". I'd later turn some of them into friends maybe a couple months down the road, but thinking back on this now, I cringe into a black hole.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Omg I was so disappointed later on life to find out there are no free drug people. Fucking lame, they said it would be like a costco market.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

what the fuck is a kangaroo shoe pocket

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Kangaroos (aka "Roos") were these awesome shoes with a little pocket in them.

I got a pair about 13 years ago, long after they'd stopped being popular, and used them to hide my drugs in high school and college. They were awesome until I started hiding really bad drugs in there. Then they were just enabling me.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

woah these are amazing! never seen them before!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Bro im aussie and Ive never seen this. They are awesome.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I'm gonna look for some of these as my next trainer.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago (2 children)

To be fair stop drop and roll is still good advice. You just don't find yourself on fire that often.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The one time I did find myself on fire, I completely forgot about stop, drop, and roll. Instead I ran until I stumbled on the hillside, then shouted "am I still on fire?"

Aaand that story is why I no longer fucks with charcoal grills.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Caught my pants on fire from a welding spark and by the time I noticed, it was most of my leg on fire. Didn't even think to stop drop and roll, I just took off my pants.

Couple of points of advice:

  1. Don't wear frayed clothing while welding.

  2. Fire can't be seen through certain welding masks. If you feel warm, lift the fucking mask.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Wait you managed to light yourself on fire with a CHARCOAL grill?

Did you put accelerant on it for some reason?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I certainly did haha

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

In fact, it's a good thing that we never have to use Stop Drop & Roll ourselves.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

You could also use bees, as long as you had 5 of em. "Gimme 5 bees for a quarter" you'd say.