this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
421 points (95.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

19462 readers
151 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 73 points 4 months ago (3 children)

It's a picture of the people who submit zero value comment spelling fixes to the Linux kernel so they can claim "I've submitted X patches to the Linux kernel" for KPIs or resume building

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Oh, you contributed to the kernel? Name every commit SHA.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

Hey man, I once had an engineering exec (who didn’t last very long) who decided engineers would be stack ranked by SLOC. You can imagine how easy that metric was to cheese, and you can also imagine exactly how that policy turned out.

Give an engineer a stupid metric to meet, and they’ll find a stupid way to meet it for you, if only out of malicious compliance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

When metrics become targets they fail to be metrics any more

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Campbell's law goes brrrrr.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I'd have a field day with that. Max line length 70 or 75, excessively verbose function and variable names, triple the normal amount of comments, extra whitespace wherever possible, tab width 8, etc. The possibilities are endless for that metric.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Hey Bob, you've worked on the Linux kernel before, can you handle this CPU scheduler problem we're having? Shouldn't take you too long. We need it done before lunch"

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Nah I was in the network driver section"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"oh nice we're also having issues with random packets being dropped, can you look into that? It's business critical"