this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
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What agony tastes like. Every nerve in my entire mouth, screaming. The room, spinning. The air, ringing. Can't think. Can't move. Every beat of my heart shooting pain as the nerves re-stimulate. Sometimes I still feel echoes of the pain. It has been twenty years. Just smelling the blend of other seasonings commonly used reawakens the flashbacks. Some part of me is still in that restaurant, still suffering, even now...
I will never eat Thai food again.
Fuck me. As a white dude I have to specify "Thai hot please". They act like they're gonna get sued.
Dropped by my fav Asian place in Tulsa one afternoon. "Can you make the Happy Family hot? It was really sweet last time. Hot? Really hot? Like, triple hot?" <holding up 3 fingers>
<unintelligible Asian from the kitchen>, "LOL! HOT! HOT!">
Oh god. They're going to punish the white guy.
Cook himself, who I had never seen, brings my plate. Motherfucker stands back a few steps to watch me devour.
<unintelligible Asian from the kitchen>, "LOL! HOT! HOT!">
Cook comes back out, "Is the meal appropriate?"
Pouring sweat, hair standing on end, "Yes! Very good! VERY good! Thank you! PERFECT! THANK YOU!"
He takes a bow and returns to the kitchen.
<unintelligible Asian from the kitchen>, "LOL! HOT! HOT!"
I still remember that fine meal from 30-years ago. God speed you crazy Asian cooks!
I like spicy food now and then, I like spicy bbq and can take any Mexican you can throw at me. But Thai food scares me. Every time I try it, they ask how spicy I want it on a scale of 0 to 10, and I go "you know, I think I'll take it easy today, I'll go for a 4". And then I get the bowl, first few slerps are pretty chill, but after a solid minute it out of nowhere turns into the spiciest thing I've ever fucking tasted, without fail. I'm simply not worthy of Thai food
For you, it was a life-altering event. For them, it was Tuesday