this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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Huh, maybe this isn't the "Higher Self" then.. because when I think, I can "hear" a voice in my head, and I can literally make it say what I want....
But when I hear the "Higher Self" it's just suddenly I know something or I'll experience a different kind of silent voice where I can't hear any words... but I suddenly know something I didn't before and it doesn't "feel" like me, it feels like it comes from much deeper in than a mere thought does, there's no "Thought process" in the event of a higher self thing, just realization, and it's usually shit I couldn't possible know, but it's not like I can summon it on command and what it tells me isn't always useful.
Like, one time it told me I'd drink a regular Mountain Dew, not flavored, for the first time in literal years in a matter of minutes.
I disregard it as unlikely, but decide it may be a good idea to get some food as it had been a long day. So I go to Taco Bell, and get my usual drink, a Baja Blast (which is a flavored mountain dew, but the "higher self" specified that it wouldn't be flavored, it'd be the OG mountain dew) They tell me they're out, so absent mindedly I say "Regular mountain dew's fine."
Only after I say that do I go "Wait a god damn minute....."
Obviously this can't be a different form of my thought process that I just don't understand, because how the fuck was it supposed to know the inventory of that exact Taco Bell? Then again, why would a Higher Self care about what drinks I'm drinking... Weird shit like that happens, and since it's always right, I always listen to it, and when it actually comes through in a time of need things seem to turn out fine. I can't explain it, ironically you'd think this would make more really superstitious, but the sad truth is I lost my faith in such things ages ago, it's just the higher self still functions as it does in spite of that.
If you've got an explanation I'd love to hear it
Honestly I'm more impressed by your categorical inventory of the exact kind of Mountain dew you'd been drinking for years.
As for explanation, not everything is owed an explanation. That's part of my issue with the idea of god in the first place, it's an act of trying to define what cannot be explained because for an unfortunate number of people having an answer is more important than not giving one unless you can confirm it's correct or at least approximate or in the direction of a correct answer.
Maybe there is a higher power out there, maybe the supernatural is lurking behind every darkened window and hidden alley, maybe 40k is a prophecy of times to come sent in the form of a table top wargame fortelling the danger of beings worshipped as gods who lust after feasting on our souls, what matters is that all of that is just a story we tell ourselves to pretend those questions aren't still there because an unanswered question is the true incarnation of madness and terror to most people.
God is the King In Yellow, a cloaked masked figure built to contain all the emptiness we fear in the universe.
It's not so much I was categorizing the Mountain Dew, it's that I'd specifically only been drinking flavored mountain dews, so a non-flavored one would have been a clear outliers, just for the record.