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to those of you who like doing your job and go home, what do you tell chatty coworkers to keep their questions and time they take from you to a minimum? (feddit.de)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don't understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It's a means to an end.

The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.

Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don't want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.

The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don't get it, but neither I'm not going to change how extroverts think or feel.

If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I'm going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.

I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?

What do you talk about to your coworkers?

What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don't get offended).

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

People will probably keep asking until they learn that you don't want to answer. This is just how most people work and I understand your frustration at being an outlier in this way.

You can't control them feeling offended. You are behaving strangely to them and they're struggling to make sense of you. The most reasonable explanation to them is that you dislike them, which they'll construe as rude.

If you are direct with them, they might at least be able to make sense of you. "When I'm at work, I only want to work, then get out of here as soon as I can. That's why I don't socialize here. It's nothing personal."

Either they believe you or they don't. You can't make them believe you.

One last thing: just like you wish they'd stop making wrong assumptions about your motivations, you might consider challenging the assumptions you're making about them.

Good luck.