randomsnark

Am I crazy to assume that, if I tell one person but don't specify any particular privacy settings, they would leave it to me to decide when I disclose it to others?

I guess I should get specific here. I was officially diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, as having autism spectrum disorder level 1. I have so far only told my mom, who I live with, and my best friend, who I suspect is also autistic. Today, I overheard my mom talking loudly on a video call to my brother and his wife, catching up and sharing their latest news. Apparently her latest news included the fact that I have been diagnosed with ASD. I hadn't yet decided how to go about having that conversation with my brother, and now I'm pretty upset that I don't get to make that decision. While I'm venting, she also mentioned that I've been less conversational lately, which she attributes to my diagnosis and to me no longer wanting to make the effort necessary to talk to neurotypical people (in reality, my chronic fatigue has been playing up lately, which always leaves me with less energy for conversation - she knows my chronic fatigue has been playing up lately, but apparently thinks I'm just choosing not to bother).

Am I crazy to think she was way out of line to share my diagnosis with someone without running it by me?

I'm also not sure how to move forward with this information in any way without it seeming like I was eavesdropping - which I wasn't intentionally doing, she was in the living room / kitchen area, I was heading down there to make myself a cup of tea (which I do every night at that time, in the room that she was talking in) and froze halfway down the hallway when I heard her sharing my confidential information. I didn't know how to deal with the situation so I just stood there for a bit and then returned to my room without making the cup of tea. If she had directly told me that she had told my brother about my diagnosis, or that she was bothered by me being less conversational, it would give me an opportunity to provide input on these matters, but as it is I don't feel comfortable raising the subject, or noticeably increasing my level of masking (to accomodate her apparent discomfort with me not doing so), without the eavesdropping issue potentially becoming part of the conversation and complicating matters.

I'm also bothered because I have a tradition of once a year going to stay with my best friend for a while, and typically stop off with my brother for a few days when I pass through his city. Last year unexpected travel complications left me burnt out, so when I made the bookings a couple of months back for this year's trip, I made it as simple as possible, including skipping the stay with my brother. I haven't yet told him, and now I'm worried that he's going to take it as me no longer socializing with neurotypical family members (even though the arrangement was made before my diagnosis). The whole thing is complicated and no longer under my control because my mother decided to share my diagnosis and her thoughts about my behavior behind my back.

Anyway, I guess I'm venting, and looking for input on whether this is as infuriating as it seems, and maybe advice on how to approach the situation.

Not sure if this is user error, a lemmy issue, a jerboa issue, or just inactive communities. A lot of communities I'm subscribed to, with many active members, show no posts more recent than a week or a month. At first I thought this was just a lack of activity, but recently I noticed that a post I had commented on was not visible from the community page (under either hot or new), although I was still getting replies and the post is visible from my comments page.

As a test, I tried posts from /all/, and was quickly able to find one that is visible for me from /all/ but does not appear on its own community page under new - the post on [email protected] about a 271 page document on Vance (about an hour ago).

All I can think is that either a lot of posts are being deleted (but somehow still showing up through other methods), or the community pages on jerboa are not updating even when explicitly told to refresh, either by dragging down from the top or selecting refresh from the community options menu.

Anyone else encountering this problem or know what might be causing it? I've noticed the lack of posts on subscribed communities for a while and always assumed the communities were just inactive (which obviously makes lemmy much less useful for me), but the politics test is making me think it's something else.

Edit: another point of reference, the newest post showing for me on this community (jerboa) is from a week ago, regarding switching language on gboard.

When I click links in lemmy comments that explicitly include http in the url, the resulting page is always https. To me, the preferred behavior would be to default to https if no protocol is specified, but to respect the user's preference if given.

Most of the time, there is no downside to changing to https, but some sites will result in an error if they don't properly support https (I've encountered this when incorrectly typing a url before, but as it was not recent I don't recall the details), and in rare cases the same domain name may serve different content on http vs https, making the ability to specify when linking desirable.

For example, http://xkcdsw.com is an archive of fan-edited comics, while https://xkcdsw.com is some kind of crypto site. While obviously that's dodgy on the site end, it's also strange to be completely unable to link the former without telling people to manually remove the s.

Is this redirecting happening on the app level, or the instance level, or something else? It's not unique to me, as I was first alerted to it by replies that were confused at my links not going where I said they went.

Was amused by this showing up fairly deep in the results on a search for "autism late assessment percent". Not sure what caused it, when I google "autism spectrum" the wikipedia result doesn't look like this.

Tangentially related - the search was because I'd seen someone claim that only 2% of people who go in for late assessment end up not being positively diagnosed, and was trying to find a source. Didn't find anything one way or another before being distracted by this (and by figuring out how to screenshot on my phone). So I welcome any citations people have relevant to my original search. Or just be amused by autistic google/wiki, that's fine too 🙂