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I have an autistic roommate renting a room in a house that I'm renting. I've had issues in the past where I've told him that he needs to keep his room free of trash and while I don't personally care about it being a mess as long as he's not living in unsanitary conditions, it could eventually be a problem with the owner one day.

Several months ago, I started helping a friend who lost the room he was renting because the house was getting sold. The entire house reeked of what I now recognize as roach poop and the kitchen had so much poop it was nauseating. The roaches hitched a ride on his mini fridge despite him swearing religiously that he cleaned out his room every weekend. I suspect that he has autism but I can't tell him that because he'll take it the wrong way and see it as putting him down. He was sleeping in the living room and didn't pay rent. He also put up a huge argument when I told him that he needed to clear out within the next few days and did everything he could to try to negotiate for longer. He's living with his grandparents now and he put up a huge argument saying he didn't want to live with his parents because he wanted to be "independent" and he had "already told them he had a place to live."

I told the other roommates they'd need to clear out for a while and offered to pay for two months of storage for them so that I can get as much out of the house as possible. I've been storing and throwing away a lot and I'm using this as an opportunity to get rid of a lot of clutter. I hate throwing a lot of stuff out but I also hate having too much stuff even more. The roach poop situation hasn't been that bad but I've cleaned out most of it and they've lost most of their hiding spots.

The other roommates have moved out temporarily and stripped their rooms mostly down to the furniture. The autistic roommate has barely done anything even though I told him that I'm going to have to kick him out if he doesn't get his room cleaned. It's a disaster but I could easily box it all up within a day. I had a super messy "man cave" room as well, but the entire rest of the house except for the roommate's room is now good for pest control. I've told him that if he has trouble I can go through with him and help him box stuff up.

The owner has been really good with everything and he said he didn't want to give me a deadline and was impressed with how quickly I got everything cleaned up. He did tell me though that I'm going to have to make a decision about the roommate if he doesn't show substantial progress soon. I've told him he can just take all his stuff to storage for a couple months and he doesn't need to make a decision about getting rid of stuff until after the pest control is done so he doesn't feel like he was forced to throw stuff away.

I don't know if he has a hoarding disorder or not. He doesn't seem to have a problem with holding on to literal trash. I would really hate to kick him out but honestly I feel like it might be a personal improvement.

My friend who has been living rent free is obsessed with coming back after the pest control is done even though a huge part of me doesn't want that. I don't want to charge him rent because he'll never be able to afford a place to move in to if I do that. If I have to kick out the roommate though I will absolutely offer him the room though.

I've been starting to open my mind to changing my ideas about masking. A lot of them come from my sister who struggled very heavily with wanting to appear like everyone else and not stand out, so I'm biased based on experience.

At the same time, I recognize that forcing or pressuring people into masking when they don't understand why would be traumatic to them and ultimately do the opposite of what is intended.

I feel like unmasking should be done in private or around people who will understand it. Unmasking could in theory be done all the time, but not everyone would understand it.

What's your position on it? Do you mask in public but not in private or around only people who understand it?

I want to work on being more accepting and I have feelings in both directions.

It's not a serious hording issue or anything like that, but there's way more stuff then I want and we let things go since the pandemic. We've always been good about making sure that actual trash eventually gets thrown away.

There's also a huge problem downstairs because I rent out the rooms down there and the 'beards never take care of the house and actively try to cause as much trouble as they can it seems like. I've had to ban food in rooms and eating in rooms and mandate disposable plates and utensils because they don't get washed otherwise, even though it's wasteful.

If I wasn't going downstairs to clean up after the 'beards, it would become an unsanitary hoarding situation.

I know that cleaning isn't always fun but eventually the situation will get away from you.

White supremacists celebrate a middle eastern religion that worshiped "Alaha" and culturally enriched Europe by wiping out the indigenous religions and resulted in over a thousand years of women wearing hijabs.

I feel like it's a bit of a long shot. I could see how certain things like being depressed could contribute to being withdrawn and lead to a lack of social skills.

I feel like my sister was misdiagnosed because I tend to be the voice of compassion when we talk about issues related to people with autism.

And of course there's a correlation between having autism and being trans.

I have a roommate with autism who is well into his late 20s and just exists in a nihilistic grind loop. He goes to work for the socially acceptable minimum wage and then comes home and sits at the computer and game console all day until he goes to bed. He has never been on a date and peaked in high school. His only social interaction is when he tags along on household trips and sometimes when he comes out to hang out with us.

I feel guilty about allowing him to just "exist." I feel like as a condition of letting him live with me for relatively cheap rent that I should have some sort of expectations for him to improve himself. I'd be willing to work with him on it. I'm thinking I could set goals like he needs to go on a date regularly, needs to spend a certain amount of time on his days off outside of the house, needs to work on interests and activities that he can do with other people.

I've always been weirdly empathetic with autistic roommates and it tears me up when I see them come in and then barricade themselves away and never work on developing any interpersonal relationships.

I know it's fun to just exist for a while and come home and eat junk food and watch Netflix but eventually reality is going to come crashing down.

I have an autistic roommate who is generally pretty good as a roommate. Lately there's been unnecessary friction over his scooter, which seems connected to his condition. He bought it after I suggested that he buy a motorcycle that's restricted in speed and engine displacement and so doesn't require a license or insurance. He went to the dealer and bought a scooter and when I asked him why he said that it was all they had even though he could have gone elsewhere or ordered one online.

Anyway, the thing I've been trying to get through to him is that he needs to park it around the back where it's not visible from the road or at a minimum, lock it up.

There are two other issues. I don't really like having a scooter parked in front of my house because they aren't really socially acceptable where I live. It's not a huge deal for me personally. The other is that he seems to cause road rage and I don't want rednecks driving by and seeing his scooter parked in front of the house.

He also owns a car that his parents pay for and I've tried to get him to use it more depending on where he's going because I've told him that he absolutely cannot be riding his scooter on country roads because the rednecks drive way too fast and they won't even see him when he's maxing out at 28 with that tiny engine.

I'm wondering if his refusal to park in the back is related to his condition. I'm mostly only concerned about it because I don't want to deal with the fallout if it gets stolen. All the other roommates who have had mopeds park them in the back.

/vent

It feels like it was intended to be a religious allegory considering the other symbolism in the game.