noctisatrae

I’ve been the GM for my friend group and for one year I’ve been the architect giving voice to many places, many characters, a whole world for us to explore. At times my goal was only to instill fears into my players, identify what they were most afraid of loosing and made the threat of it happening looming over their head.

I rarely every killed my characters, I just feel shitty doing so; and I found more creative ways of creating consequences for failures. I didn’t just want death to be a problem, I wanted real consequences: being forcefully put under the control of the whomever they were fighting, becoming crippled, or loosing something dear to them.

By doing so, when they succeed at accomplishing the goal they set for themselves, it felt amazing and epic! Finally killing this boss!

It was a more-than-amazing experience and it has left me with unforgettable memories which where at the same time funny&epic.

We had to stop because they all started their superior studies after high school and I was one year younger than them. We’re still in contact but we’re all far away from one another and we’re sooo busy.

I’m going to try to find a group to play with, I hope I will because solo TTRPG is cool but I miss the social emulation.

I still prep games, but for nothing because I can’t actually see what I made in action; me being forced to improvise, etc…

I miss doing that lol. So yeah, just wanted to tell this little story

Good night ;)

I’ve 🐝 bee-n fighting for two years now. I have this « job » that I’ve been stuck with forever now. My inability to enjoy the little things of life is just another indication of my dereliction: hating the bitter man I’m becoming, seeing myself in people I despise, being unable to think, speak, create.

There’s no future for me here. No way out from my work. No time to dedicate to what I love. I read the introduction of Camus’ « L’homme Révolté » about absurdism in other to be something else than a consuming shitty human, and I don’t agree with most of the moral dilemmas: killing yourself is not the same as killing another person. I’m making a choice for myself and maybe, one of the limits of this argument is that I’m imposing my absence on others…

But who might miss me? My family & friends? It’s true, there are the ones that made me stay this long, but nothing is changing, and I need to help myself.

ಥ_ಥ, maybe see you tomorrow ?

All this « editorial » content is so unnerving with so much shit happening in the world. It does not feel like a safe place if you doomscroll every time you browse it…

I’m trying to get accustomed to writing asynchronous/concurrent Rust or any language!

I just want to build software that helps people, and hopefully makes friends along the way.