ncc21166

A bittersweet struggle this week. I am mentally where I need to be. Voice training was fantastic, and I started laser hair removal. I have a few outfits together! My body, however, is so far behind the rest of me that it causes frustration waiting for it to catch up. I also can't start consultations for surgery until the 6 month mark because of insurance requirements. Such an archaic principle for someone who has had an absurdly long time to consider the consequence and determined it's worth it. Especially since the therapist agrees with my conclusions! Now it's just a waiting game while I try to figure out who to trust in person with my real identity.

I don't know if I have a problem seeing myself. My problem is that who I see is ever so slightly different over time. I also know that the self-image I have is incongruent with many things. Gender. Age. Some basic physical features, like hair and eye color. It's not just the visual, either. There's a gap between how I carry myself today vs. how I feel I should be physically moving. How I sound is wrong. My scent isn't correct, either. So while I don't need to force myself to mentally conjure my self-image, it's a struggle to keep it nailed down to a single me sometimes.

Negative; I am the willow tree you sit beneath for shade and comfort. I have always been here, and I will always be here. This is an enchanted forest, after all. What is a forest without it's trees?

I'm taking this same journey right now as well. I was in a similar situation as you (mostly plain shirts and hiking pants, think "Eddie Bauer"). I also really want to branch out to more interesting styles. The one thing I've learned from my partner is that layering is pretty much essential unless it's a scorching hot day. You can also seriously consider the same sources for your current clothing (Eddie Bauer's Women's section is not half bad for comfortable things that fit well, if a bit boring). You should consider that bottoms are possibly going to be tighter in some areas and looser in others unless or until hormones or surgery happen. I have a wide and sturdy ribcage, so tops all feel like they're too tight, especially at the armpits. Sizing up is an option, but so are looser cuts and stretchy materials. I find that I like a tighter base top and something loose to go over it like a hoodie, wrap, or shrug.

Experimentation is the only way to really learn anything. You can always try to abuse the Amazon "try 5 things out" nonsense, or find a shop that's trans-affirming or go to the next city over if you're shy and just try on everything until you find what you like. I have known people, especially my mother, to spend an entire day trying on clothing and buy one or two items. Or a dozen! I actually find the shopping and discovery part of this to be fun and a little relaxing. Think of it less as a chore or a scary task and more like a way to explore yourself and your identity, then make a fun day out of it!

I hear this a lot, but what qualifies as a "thrift" store in this case? Are we suggesting places like a Goodwill, or something else? I live in a pretty rural area, but I can get to a moderate city occasionally. My area is pretty much only Goodwill or WalMart/Target. What is everyone seeing in their minds when they hear "thrift store"?

Now why did you have to go and post this? I guess I need to figure out what "submissive" and "rope bunny" mean now.

I petition to make this the official bottom surgery recovery companion!

I'm going to show my bias here, but 🇺🇸Star Trek belongs on the list. All of them, but especially The Next Generation for being a comfort show. It has non-binary character representation, self-realization, the betterment of humanity in general, the need to adhere to principles, and just a general hopeful view of the future of humanity. Follow it up with the other series and you can get everything from the Trill being a sort of trans allegory to a non-binary recurring character and several different sexual orientations, and even confronting inner demons to show that hopeful and moral truths can win out over hatred and deviousness. And you can even have fun while doing it!

I came out to a friend this weekend. She was a house guest for a while and managed to be an amazing person the whole time! I had such a good weekend just existing as myself for a while that it was almost overwhelming. I was telling my spouse how I felt and that I was so happy, and I haven't felt this happy in so long. I just started crying from the joy.

I saw her in the mirror.

I brought her out to be seen.

I am her.

Take care of yourself! A little bit of maintenance can prevent a whole lot of suffering.

Congratulations! So glad to see my translater folx getting their authentic selves realized 🫂

I just hit week 7. I'm not on the same dosing as you (4mg estradiol tablets, no prog, 50mg spiro) but have had no physical changes. Emotional for sure, and my spouse claims I no longer smell like a man, but that's all. I begged my doctor to put me on bica and injections, but they are all too cautious about adverse effects. I already had an episode of incredibly high heart rates this weekend that impacted activities, but that's apparently not enough to go to injections until month 3 for them. I started taking the tablets sublingual (dissolve them under the tongue) but that has had very little effect. I have had no soreness or sensitivity at all, and everything still looks like it did before. I'm not sure if this is normal or not, but I'm considering finding a new doctor. I don't want to switch to DIY and have them decline to provide referrals. It was enough of a chore to find this clinic in the first place!