jwt

I'd advise against using the phrase '3/5ths of a person', but I guess you can always count on Americans (and Texans in particular) to make stupid decisions.

... what do they think the lions are fed any other day?

tofu

TempleOS

When life gives you lemons...

Demand to see life's manager.

At the end of that word salad he says something regarding masochism, so I think he actually meant to reply, but his reading comprehension left him hanging so he didn't catch OP was talking about John Oliver (being the Western European living in the US).

(That, or they are just the fevered ramblings of a syphilitic brain. either way, your 'wtf is this even' applies)

I can't believe I almost ate a non-existent onion.

kill -9 $(pidof )

Conversely, it's also very funny to respond to self-important adults babbling nonsense with baby talk.

Must to what?

Btw also an awesome way of telling people you're pregnant.

fyi, systemctl disable/enable has a --now flag

That's because you're a dumbass. Happy now?