with no modern appurtenances like internet service and smoke detectors. One electrical outlet per room, small windows, no irrigation in the yard, just a hose. Plain telephone service to one jack. Rabbit ears for TV only. No microwave or dishwasher and only clotheslines for drying laundry
Bruh. All that is like pennies, comparatively speaking.
Also, pretty sure you've described is like every other property on sale right now, so no need for calculations - just check the local zillow or something.
But is it SCSI or 1/4" TRS?