bleistift2

Not only do people not read, they don’t listen either.

Wrong. They don’t listen in the specific circumstance you expected them to listen. The beginning of a conversation isn’t meant to carry information. It only sets up the communication channel. The thing people are “listening” to are: Is the other person loud enough? Are they speaking my language? Do they have an accent that requires special attention from me to understand?

When people call a store, they expect the first few seconds of dialogue to be a greeting, which can be ignored; the name of the store, which they know; some phrase to indicate politeness, which they don’t care about; and then either silence or some other indication that the other end is now ready to process their request.

These expectations have been hammered into their brains for years by every store they have ever called. You are the odd one out. By trying to be extra helpful and give them what they want, you throw them off. Of course they need to recover, because the plan they had for how the conversation was to be going needs readjustment.

This also assumes that the callers had a chance to understand what you were saying in the first seconds. The first syllable or so of a conversation might be cut off because the line isn’t established quickly enough (which throws off the processing of the rest of the sentence). Their phones might not be set loud enough for the volume you’re transmitting. You might have fallen victim to the disease every person who regularly says the same things on the phone suffers from: You rattle off your script so quickly (and mumblingly) that the other person doesn’t understand.

All this is based on my experience and theory on how communication works. Don’t take it for granted. I’m no expert.

Well, did you actually read at least the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article I linked?

registers, big neon signs to say "hey douchenozzle, next one this is closed)

This is just bad design. Almost comically, your sign shouts, “Look at me, there’s nothing to see here”. You’re drawing attention away from where people should go. Of course this isn’t going to work.

Whoever thought advertising a closed register was a good idea needs to have their idea generator checked.

big neonsign at the door at eyeheight telling people when the store opens, 1 out of 6 people looks at it the rest doesnt even see it, one once was even mad and blew out the doorglass with a kick.

This sounds like real-world banner blindness. Almost all neon signs are ads or usless bling-bling to catch your attention. It’s no wonder people don’t look at them anymore.

sending a text or an email to the shop and making them spell it out for you!

That’s because the shops know that no-one reads the website and doesn’t bother to update the opening hours when they change.

validators is a shitty name for something that actually does type conversion.

That’s boring. Two ears only allow you to put the sound somewhere on a plane (the vertical one that cuts your body in half lengthwise). How do you know the ‘height’ of the sound on that plane? By utilizing the different distortions the sound goes through while being funneled through your auricle.

0 3 * * * reboot

Not even Randall Munroe had the guts to attach Orion’s dick in his drawings.

The main character faces away from the window, towards the camera. The scene outside is dimly lit, if at all.

I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT

I thought all trains were only from and to Paris, so you’d have to change trains at most once, whether you’re going from Marseille to Toulon or from Caen to Le Havre.