"If you ask me one more time I will stab you with this knife."
ZDL
joined 4 days ago
You’re clothing says “NOT INTERESTED GO AWAY” and you’re literally verbalising it. As always this isn’t a misunderstanding, it’s harassment and it’s wrong.
There's a certain breed of male (I won't say "man" because they're not: they're boys at best) that sees a woman sending signals they're not interested and take it as a challenge. Wearing loose-fitting, frumpy clothing? Let's see what she's got under that! Tell them you're queer. That's because she's not been with the right man yet! (Note: they think they're the ones who can "cure" lesbian or asexual or whatnot people. Because they're so special. 🙄) Tell them you'll stab them in both eyes with a pair of crescent-bladed knives if they don't back right the fuck down? I'm going to complain to the manager!
Can't win for losing. The only thing they sometimes respect is "my boyfriend wouldn't approve". Because now you're another man's "property" and "property" rights are paramount. (Except for a small batch of them for whom even this doesn't back them off.)
There's a reason why there's always a knife or two on my person.
Gay dude here, as usual I feel hostility when I see these threads but I’ll reply anyway.
Let me translate this from Male Privilege to English:
"I'm a guy and even though I know this is against the channel rules, I won't let mere WOMEN tell ME what to do."
Go away child.
I have a technical question: is it not possible to set up a community that is "member-only posting" in Lemmy? (Genuine question, I have no idea. I don't run an instance or a community.)
Let me guess. You identify as an attack helicopter.
🙄
you are walking up to every man around and screaming in their face that they aren’t welcome.
Men (presuming, I'm guessing, you, despite knowing the rules, because rules aren't for men...) have to come to this group to be told to piss off. (And the mods are super nice about telling men to piss off. There's a reason why they're mods and I'm not!)
For you to call that "walking up to every man around and screaming in their face" is so fucking ridiculous that I can't even begin to imagine the kind of entitled, toddler-like mindset required to express this without laughing.
I tutor a girl who was collecting a huge number of acceptance letters, having basically her choice of American university to attend. She was ecstatic about this.
Now she's not going to the USA. I've directed her to Canada or Australia as options.
I have no idea what those moon units mean, but the comparison to a chihuhua I get. So I might be bigger than you. 😄 (160cm, 55kg.) But I get the whole demeanour thing. That's what Dad tried to instill into me (with shaky initial results but I'm much better at that iron stare now).
I get that the aro/ace thing likely disorients you more. I just wanted you to be aware it isn't just you. Almost ALL women find being hit on while trying to do their job disruptive, creepy, and really irritating. You're not alone and you've got people who can at the very least empathize. And there's not much you can do unfortunately without risking losing your job. You have to say "no" firmly. Draw the line. Make sure you call out any line crossing. And if they don't get the message, pull out your 鸳鸯钺¹. That usually gets their attention (and you'll be able to leave your job almost immediately! 😉).
¹ These things.
Maybe make the decision to not to let others live in your head today. You make your head full of your happy thoughts.
That's a good trick too. When you start feeling that you're being "mean" or that people are being gross to you or whatever, reflect a moment on something you like. Ideally something you like doing.
those I can mostly handle as ex-military, former wrestler, badass chick 💪
I'm not ex-military, nor a former wrestler, nor a particularly badass chick. But my father was a Chief Warrant Officer/RSM and he taught me a few things I've used to my advantage in altercations. (This included basic knife usage.) So, with you here all the way sister: make unwelcome advances uncomfortable the other way!
I’m ace/aro, not very social, and somewhere on the autism spectrum, and getting hit on at work is nothing but wildly uncomfortable.
It's wildly uncomfortable for those of us classified as "oversexed" by their prudish coworkers too. It's that whole "consent" thing that so many people have such a basic problem with. 😥
He rushed out after but it legit wasn’t personal.
He has to learn the bitter lesson that being attracted in one direction doesn't mean being attracted the other. Yeah, I'd feel a bit bad for hurting a decent, super nice guy, but if I'm not interested I'm just straight-up not interested.
(You sound really nice, mind, for actually caring. By now I'm long past that point.)
How do I deal with feeling like crap about other people being gross? Or risking their all to be turned down by someone doing a job? I know how to be strong and upfront and honest, to do the work to be clear about my intentions, even if I’m nice about it, but I don’t have a clue how to feel better about it…
You have a lesson to learn like the nice kid had to learn.
You're going to hurt people. Sometimes (hopefully most times) without intending to and without malice. You can't stop caring; that way lies madness. But you have to learn to just understand and accept that you are not responsible for how other people feel. And that's a particularly hard lesson for women to learn because we've been brought up all our lives, in most cases, to be the "caring" and "nurturing" ones.
Some people are going to smash their face into a brick wall. That's on them. If they do it on accident, or because they didn't know brick walls hurt, be sympathetic and help them out if it's applicable. But if they smash their face into a brick wall because they're too stupid to link that to pain, that's on them, not you. And if they smash their face into a brick wall repeatedly because "this time will be different" that is again on them, not you. You just have to accept the fact their feelings are theirs and not your responsibility.
And it's fucking hard. (Tough as I talk I sometimes feel bad too even today.)
But you know what? Talking it out here or with your friends who 'get' you (especially with the added complexity of aro/ace) is definitely a good thing. Wounded birds flocking helps all.
Men are not houses. They cannot be "unique fix'er'upper opportunities". They are not "projects" and we are not "building engineers". My sisters, this is a critical lesson to learn in life, and it's never too late to learn it. When you do learn it, the only thing you lose are your chains!
If men want to be fixed, well, they can fix themselves or they can find themselves fixed by other means! ✂ 🤣
Tell me, how insecure are you that you COME HERE to tell us that we are somehow going out to scream at you?
You. Came. Here.
Not the other way around.
How shrivelled is your manhood that you can't stand being asked to not be here? What is behind your obvious misogyny? (What's that? You don't think you're misogynistic? Tell me how you'd respond, then, to someone going to a metal-oriented channel and saying that all metal sucks and that only losers and wasted goons listen to that shit: real people listen to waltzes.)
Now piss off, child. Adults are trying to continue with a conversation. The toddler table is over there.