MossyFeathers

I've been eyeing a DP12. Probably complete overkill but at the same time, if someone comes knocking down my door then I want to be able to erase them with extreme prejudice if I have to.

sends hugs

DFW area here. Shit sucks. At least it's pretty blue here.

Pretty shit. Came out of the closet as trans to my parents just before the election after hiding dysphoria for nearly 20yrs (I'm 30). Unfortunately, the dysphoria has been intense enough that I'm so dissociated that I can barely function, so as you might imagine, I'm currently living with parents.

My dad's reaction was basically, "whoever the best you is, be that you".

My mom's reaction was "but you're my son... I always wanted to have a brother and you're kinda like that".

Meanwhile my grandparents voted for Trump after saying they wouldn't, and are now crying about it. Literally. My grandmother was in tears.

So my mom is also dealing with that, and possibly osteoporosis, which meant she said, "it's gonna take time to process this".

Then last night she told me that I wasn't allowed to start hrt until I moved out.

She refuses to let me tell her why I can barely function. She refuses to let me describe what I'm going through. She says she "can't handle it", that "it's not a top priority right now", that she's "trying to understand" why I've made this "choice" while also telling me things like "but I like you the way you are" and rejecting any information I send to her because she'd rather consult her friends that she "trusts more".

She starts to have a panic attack whenever I try to talk to her about it and God forbid I tell her that she made a mistake because then I obviously hate her guts and want her to die. She's literally accused me of that.

It hurts like hell but I don't know how to get out of this situation. I don't know how long it'll take hrt and therapy to get me on my feet all while not having a job. All this while in Texas. I'm fucking scared.

Edit: I also kinda wonder if I was born intersex and that's why my mom is freaking out. I'd think my dad would know and would say something, but idk. I've heard of times where one parent had an intersex kid """fixed""" without the other parent knowing. It honestly might explain some shit if I was born intersex.

This is gonna be like that one mission in cruelty squad isn't it? Where you kill the guy who was gonna introduce regulation to the stock market and all the stock prices immediately start spiking until the news wears off?

Because those animals are cool. You see the others you mentioned too, but you don't see animals no one likes. It's less soul searching and finding you are something else and more finding something cool and wanting to be like it.

I suppose. I mean, I think it goes a bit deeper than that; I legit feel incomplete if I think about my lack of tail or snout. It's no where near as bad as gender dysphoria, I only notice it if I think about it (as opposed to a constant "buzz" in the back of my head like dysphoria) but it's there. Like, some part of my brain decided that I'm supposed to have a tail and snout. Maybe it's some crazy-ancient leftover that never got totally filtered out from when we did have tails and snouts?

I'm a transhumanist, i understand being just human is a negative.

I tend to self-id as a transhumanist more often than a therian. It depends on the crowd, but it seems easier to explain that I'm into the idea of body modification for the purpose of augmenting/extending existing abilities, granting new abilities, or changing appearance based on personal taste; than the fact that my brain swings between seeing myself as an extinct theropod (an androgynous, feathered troodontid of mysterious gender with mossy-looking feathers; aka "Mossy Feathers") to a wholly mythological creature (a very obviously fem dragon/dragon-hybrid who's appearance I'm still trying to work out).

I may or may not have seen a comic demonstrating how enough pool toy... interaction... can affect buoyancy 👀

Joking aside though, they're literally just pool toys except magically alive, so they just float like a normal pool toy.

How does that even happen? I know exactly the feelings you're talking about, I think; but just... how did our brains decide being human just wasn't who we are? Like, what the fuck lol.

Edit: also, why are so many therians foxes, dogs or wolves? I'm not sure I've ever seen bird, feline, lizard or other therians.

That is exactly what was going through my head, Mossy! Well, kinda. The other part is being like, "look, this may be a kink or fetish, but there's plenty of sfw stuff; you don't have to think it's weird just because sex makes you uncomfy". It sucks when people assume something you're into is purely sexual because then social taboos kick in and you can't talk about it anymore.

Imagine if you really liked plushies, enough so that you have a "plushsona". You're not into the sexual side of it, you just really, really like plushies, and you like telling people about the different names and personalities of your plushies. At some point someone gets it into their head that you're actually aroused by your plushies and that you might even fuck them at night. Now everyone thinks it's a fetish and no one wants to talk about your """perverted interests""" anymore.

That's why. That kinda shit sucks.

Edit: it feels kinda weird to admit this, but I honestly, unironically like furry porn for the artistic aspect of it. Sure, it makes me horny, but that's not why I like it. If I wanted something to just get off to, AI has gotten good enough that I'm sure I could generate something that'd strike my fancy.

But that's not why I enjoy it. I like the fact that you can see that, while cartoonish, stylized and hand-drawn, these are pictures of real people sharing real moments of intimacy with each other. The emotions, interactions, and so forth feel way more candid and vivid than anything else I've seen. You can tell that these characters all have their own back stories based on their designs, the way they carry themselves, the way they interact with one another, the words they use, the clothes they wear (or don't wear), and so forth. They're more real.

I don't get that feeling from traditional pornography, hentai or rule34 stuff. It just doesn't have the same... something.

That's also why I don't think furry artists need to be concerned with generative AI either. I've seen enough of both, and even though a lot of the AI stuff I've seen is probably good enough to fool 90% of skeptics while also being more photorealistic than most artists are probably capable of, yet I still vastly prefer ~~human~~ furry-made stuff. AI's just eye-candy. It doesn't have the same level of love and care put into it as most non-ai stuff.

I think it's gonna get a lot worse, but if we can hold it together then it'll be smooth sailing afterwards. Basically, I think we're approaching several "Great Filters" and if we can get past them then we'll be good.

Good point. I don't tend to have order:(whatever) because I like seeing whatever new pops up. I forgot about e926.

Edit: forgot a word.

Basically that, lol. That said, the general vibe I've gotten from seeing plushie or pool toy art is that it's less about mindless sex (compared to drone or doll transformation) and more about filling some other emotional need in a mindless manner; like mindless comfort or relaxation. I mean, there absolutely is a sex side to it (I've seen that art too), but my impression is that they aren't centered around it.

Coincidentally, I actually have some programming and artistic skill too, I just don't do it very often which is why I didn't include them lol.