BlinkerFluid

Four days ago, I woke up, as I usually expect to after going to sleep and I turned on my really fucking awesome Archlinux gaming rig, hit the desktop and decide, hmmmm... I haven't updated in a while(a week), let's pacman -Syyuu and get up to speed. Well, I got up to speed and my favorite game, the best game of all time, Team Fortress 2

##FAILED TO LOAD! 🚒 🔥

In the imminent crisis-state that I had found myself in, I did what any filthy scout-main Archlinux user would do, I googled the problem and put the word arch in quotation marks.

The first five results yielded ancient bullshit useful to someone five years ago, probably. The next ten, redditors complaining about old tat. Then I did what any old wine veteran would do. I shut steam down and started it in the terminal so I could monitor its raging bitch-fit in real time.

Team Fortress 2 failed to load because of lib32-libtcmalloc.so. Arch had updated it to a future version not yet even coded, and steam wasn't having it. The answer was on protondb all along! So, some fella says

The native version of tcmalloc introduced a bug on TF2 that it randomly crashes the game. You need to install lib32-gperftools (name of the Arch AUR package, other distros should have similar names) and add LD_PRELOAD=/usr/lib32/libtcmalloc.so %command% to your launch options to override the library.

et voila, I'm torturing 25/7 2fort.

Now, I know what you're thinking, who in their right mind would suggest Archlinux for a beginner? See, that's where I already caught you because this bug trickles all the way down to Garuda and Manjaro users too since they have the same libraries (and that fancy SteamOS that's floating around).

So while I love Linux and software freedom, I find suffering Linux on someone might be more suited to a person that actually wants it, and not to work through it to get to what they actually wanted to do.

I wanted to play Team Fortress 2, and I was rather irate about the last thing on my steam account that shouldn't work, not working all over me. This system has been a saint for six months, but when it's a devil, boy, is it.

Anyway, KDE is better than gnome! Thanks for reading!

I care for her well-being. I mean, I spent 15 years with someone, and I feel like I'm following a guidebook on divorce.

My marriage ended in a mutual tone. She obviously didn't love me in the same ways she used to, same for me as I used to for her, but she's still a person, and we still spent 15 years together. Formative parts of our teenage lives were experienced together. It's not even as-if there's a void, it's a gaping hole through to the other side.

I don't know if she's dead. I don't know if she's ok. I don't know anything, and I'm afraid to ask. I cut off all contact, as was pretty much universally suggested and even I had a lot of ideas that I'd never really come away from it entirely unless I literally separated my life from her. It's a divorce. It's what you do, isn't it?

I just want her to know it wasn't so much by choice as it was a commonplace necessity, but... why would she care? I also get the sense that the second my name is seen on any note, it would just the thrown away, and am I even right to send one, and for what long-term purpose?

It's just a waste of time, isn't it? We should just move on, but... can I? 15 years. I'm 35 now. I should be spending my last five decent dating years finding someone new, but I'm stuck on her being ok. I don't even have to be the one to find out, just someone tell me she's ok.

She probably just hates me and never wants to hear from me anyway, and what good would it do? I'd know how she is, I guess, but she'd have another thread into my life and things could end up more complicated overall.

Every time this comes up in my head, I decide against it, but it keeps coming up, almost daily, like a self-induced torture. "Just don't think about it!" Easy talk...

"I don't care enough about my life to take care of myself."

"haha"