this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
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A Boring Dystopia

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The destruction of OkCupid by Match Group looks like a politically motivated attack against the minorities and intellectual power users who used to flock there.

OkCupid used to be the best place to match diverse people.
They crowdsourced thousands of multiple choice questions from which you built your search filter:

  • Which answers you accept
  • How important each is to you
  • Your answer for the other side of the match equation
  • Voluntary explanation

The match results were factored into friendship, dating, and sex. "Friendship" contained ethics and communication style, so it also worked for business partnerships.

Then Match Group bought it.
For a while they let it be, but then they:

  • Removed the factoring - no more looking for friends or sex, only complete packages
  • Removed search - no more finding the best matches anywhere on the planet, now you just swipe like Tinder
  • Removed keyword search - no more finding niche interests not included in the questions, like "furry"
  • Removed the search filter - now everything has to be the same to match: both of you must have or not have tattoos for example, never mind what you like - one of my likes went from 95% to 50% match
  • Deleted the voluntary explanations without warning, so no one could back theirs up
  • Deleted ~95% of the match questions without warning
  • Deleted all accumulated likes, which were the best matching people around the world with maximal couple/friend/sex partner potential except, for example, location for now. They broke the profile links, so bookmarks became useless.
  • They delete matches (mutual likes) if they haven't been messaging in a while, as if that meant they're not a match - no, they have a temporary problem, such as life situation
  • They police inconvenient statements in the users' introductions as the political situation evolves - the day after the mass murderer healthcare insurance CEO got shot, the section in my profile containing (for months) "fuck the healthcare system - make a better one" was deleted without sending me a copy to edit

Avoid dating services owned by Match Group.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Match Group’s stock is down over 80% from it’s peak in 2021.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 days ago

Try before corona vs now. Going down from 2021 doesn't say much as it was outlier situation caused by lot's of lockdown and people not going out.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Remember, tech companies don't see success in your problem being solved. The tech company wants you as close as they can get you to the carrot, close enough to believe you're about to grab it, without ever actually letting you even touch it.

That used "marketplace" doesn't want you to find the product you want to buy, it wants you to scroll and message sellers to boost engagement...

The dating app doesn't want you happily paired...

That food delivery service doesn't want you to love that restaurant, they want you to search again next week....

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

True. The objective is profits, not serving the customer well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Ain’t no money in the cure!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

This is an example of a monopoly very few people know about and it's deeply concerning.. How can we decentralise these human social tools?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Damn, I was about to start using this again.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Does anyone remember the study guides on sparknotes.com?

There was also thespark.com and they started sparkmatch.com... which became okcupid.

It feels like it was another lifetime ago.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

I remember!! I signed up on OK Cupid back in the day because I just wanted to take the quizzes that were on thespark.com

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

OkC is how my partner and I met 4 years ago (tw4w)

It was the most queer friendly dating app, especially if you were looking for more than a quick bang. From my experience, Tinder and others were primarily full of unicorn hunters and polycules

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Um…I searched “tw4w acronym” and I could only find that it’s an abbreviation for the Singaporean stock exchange?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Same, guess that's AI search results for ya

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

(trans) woman for (cis) woman

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Thank you! I was way out of the loop on that one. I bought about it hard and wasn’t anywhere close lol

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 days ago

I lost the first messages my wife sent me on OK Cupid and I’m quite heartbroken about that, but I have my actual wife with me still and she adores me.

[–] [email protected] 114 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I think it's much more likely they destroyed it because it worked and was free. It didn't keep users on the platform swiping endlessly and that's bad for it's more profitable apps

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yep met my wife on OkCupid. Been together for going on 12 years now. Sad to hear it's been destroyed. Why the fuck is this group allowed to monopolize the dating apps?

This shit is sick and needs to be torn down.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Why would this type of service be different from anything else under capitalism? 😔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Tried OkCupid last year for about two months. As a slightly below average looking guy in europe I didn't have a good time. I like the diverse topics of questions and that you can compare them to other people but that's about it. Bait likes (same as on Bumble) that only appear once you're not paying because in order to see who liked you, you have to pay.

Hinge is also owned by Match, but that's the only App that ever brought me some actual dates.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Same experience here, although I'm a trans woman. Most likes I got were from couples unicorn hunting... At this point I've pretty much given up on dating apps.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

It never occurred to me that this was a thing. Sorry to hear that.

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