this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024

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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I don’t think the person on the left’s a transphobe, but I also don’t think they understand the scale of the harassment trans people face on a daily basis. Like it’s so bad the users would rather just have potential trolls ignored and downvoted than to see well meaning cis people come in and do vigilante justice using the same tactics of abuse trans people go through every day.

That empathetic disconnect looks like transphobia to some users. I don’t know that the users are right, but I understand how you reached that conclusion, especially with the person on the left’s days-long soapbox crashout about how despotic Ada is.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

comment for someone's comment that I remember but don't remember where I saw it and I dont care enough to find it and I assume it was removed anyway:

"trans women are women. dragons arent real."

okie Im a neutron star then, those r real :3

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Look, I'll respect drag's pronouns, but I definitely don't respect drag. 5 minutes looking through drag's modlog was more than enough. Here are some highlights:

Banned from the Trans community on Blahaj for misgendering and another thing we'll get to shortly (You might notice a recent unban, that's for Transgender, the OTHER trans sub drag was banned from)
Banned from this sub and others for trolling
Banned from a concerning number of subs for encouraging suicide.
I really want to emphasize that one. Drag has been banned from many communities for ENCOURAGING SUICIDE
Banned from a number of subs for harassing mods and not being civil

And thats all before we get to the bottom of the first page, which only goes two months back. Once again, drag deserves to have their pronouns respected, but that doesnt mean they deserve any other kind.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Dragonfucker also harassed me on an alt account, made many bad faith accusations towards me, told me to kill myself, even threatened to kill me. Every single comment pinged every one of my accounts. The last one was really scary because they asked Lemmy admins to help track me down so I could be tortured.

I've copied this elsewhere but I also think it's a good idea to share it here as well, see the spoiler below for screenshots of the abusive interactions from this alt (I censored the porn):

CW: Abusive content, threats, suicide encouragement, harassment

A lot of contextual information for these isn't here, to get it the admins of pawb.social and discuss.online would need to be contacted as the content and user accounts associated have been banned.

Edit: I'm so sure this was dragonfucker, I'd bet money on it. The circumstances were way too suspicious.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

thank you. it’s utterly obscene how people will see awful actions like drag’s, and instead of combating the actions drag has done, just fight for their right to misgender and abuse.

i encourage everyone who sees these behaviors, from anyone, to bring them forward to mods immediately.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Here's the suicide comment for anyone curious, on a post where a user was in a mental health crisis and contemplating suicide.

Removed Comment If you're planning on [censored] yourself, go buy a [censored] and take a red hat with you. Drag is serious. Get out if you can. Move to another country. But if you're actually hopeless, and there's nothing anyone can say to dissuade you... Then make it count. by Dragon Rider (drag) @lemmy.nz reason: Advocating violence, encouraging suicide

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

actually disturbing, i didn’t know the context was this dire too :(

consider putting this in a content warning spoiler? i don’t want you getting whacked for reposting harmful content 🫶

::: spoiler CW: banned comment encouraging suicide

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Good idea. Couldn't figure out the formatting on mobile but I censored the disturbing parts. I'm sure mods will remove the comment if they deem it unfitting for the community.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Here's an example if it helps,

Title here

Content here

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can block a few people but I cant get my community back after it was killed :c

(Also my worry is that trolls will eventually kill this instance)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

misunderstood u sorry <3

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Its oke :3

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Leaving the instance or blocking someone isn't transphobic, but not respecting their pronouns is. It's that simple.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

I didn't realize this was still an ongoing thing. I thought the dragonfucker had been banned after the last sealioning episode.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"I'm leaving."

doesn't leave

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

homies this is blahaj, not an airport terminal. no need to announce your departure 😆

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

However much time you spent on that was time well spent.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

my ass had to take a day off the internet, shit was tiring.

you’re one of the real ones, spujb

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

DISCLAIMER: Any "you" used in this comment is the royal "you", not directed at OP but more at those with attitudes like the person being referenced in the meme.

The drama post I saw around this was full of people being upset that their words both caused harm and had consequences. And I personally feel they were being transphobic. Misgendering and disrespecting another person's identity is where my line of transphobia is. If you think (for example) calling Elon something like "Elonia" is a valid take, I know how seriously you'll take my identity when we butt heads

Like OF COURSE you can leave, why should any of us care? OF COURSE you can disrespect someone's identity, just deal with not being allowed in inclusive spaces. OF COURSE you can post that drama like you're the victim, just don't expect to change the minds of those who deal with your shit every day. OF COURSE you're not "transphobic", you're just a cunt. You'd only ever call yourself a transphobe if it were trendy. You have trans people in your life, so you could NEVER be transphobic. 🙄

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sorry for responding to your serious comment with such a dumb thing, but shouldn't it be queerphobic or something else? I thought transphobia pertained to cases involving trans folk.

Could ask a search engine, but sometimes communities like this have a more nuanced answer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'd say anybody who is gender-nonconforming, non-binary, etc, is trans.

They may not always suffer from the same level of transphobia as MtFs or FtMs, but they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans, imo.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's surprising. But this feels like a nice way to frame it, if so:

... they are no longer identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth. That makes them trans ...

The other commenter mentioned this might be casting too wide a net, and I lean towards the "abolish gender" team, myself, so I'd be curious to hear what others think about it, especially MtF, FtM and similar(?) people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I'm FtM and have the same mindset of the above poster regarding the definition of "trans" but if a non binary person asks me to not refer to them as trans, then I'll certainly respect that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I feel like that could be casting too wide a net, though. Gender isn't an on or off, it's a series of gradients with no clear dividers.

For instance, what is considered gender nonconforming? Is it failing to meet the platonic gendered archetype of one's biological sex? I'd be willing to bet more people fall into that camp than not, especially among the cis-queer community.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I guess it depends on how they identify themself. If they consider themselves cis, then they almost certainly are cis? So the trans label does not apply. If they don't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, then they are not cis. Therefore they are trans. No?

I'm not sure that "casting a net" of any size matters. Sure, you can say that there is a spectrum or gradient of gender. But I don't see how that changes anything. Being trans isn't a gender. It means that you no longer identify with the gender you were assigned at birth.

Of course, there might be some social stigma associated with being trans that may encourage some people to be offended by this take? Like if you're a non-binary person you might not really think of yourself as trans due to preconceived ideas and internalized transphobia. Of course I'm not going to go around calling someone trans if they don't identify themselves as trans anyway, but in my mind I was more answering the question in an attempt to be inclusionary towards people who may want to claim the label but aren't sure if they fit it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I don't think that's a dumb thing to ask at all! It might be that queerphobic is a better term. I don't know the best term for the fear or aversion to identities outside of the binary/non-binary that most are accustomed to. I personally tend to put that under the transphobic umbrella.

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