I am very happy with feddit.org . I have not seen an issue with overmoderation, but I have also not seen a problem with spam or trolling. I believe hexbear is (rightfully so) defederated but other then that i did not notice any defederations.
The do not allow pornography which I support as you would essentially be hosting it yourself when it is federated which can become icky quickly. But I think this is a bit of a difference to other instances.
The instance also has a nice little community which is active enough to not be boring but small enough to feel like a community (might also be because of having a common language)