Casual Conversation

I keep getting flair ups of PTSD, to varying degrees. It's partially because my partners schedule, which has unfortunately taken all the energy out of me, which then causes the flashbacks. It's been a whole mess. If I can get through Christmas without screaming at my family that they're ignoring how much my mum beat me, I reckon the start of next year should be great.

Ex left me during the most stressful time in my grad school career and took a bunch of my stuff while I was recovering with family. They also almost stole my dog but I had to threaten a police report to get him back. Then my parents got sick and lost their jobs because of the sickness, so I basically had to take a year out of school to help do damage control. Only good thing is that I started dating again and met someone who I’d love to spend the rest of my life with but my school is on the opposite side of the country. I really don’t know I was supposed to get out of this year but I wanted to die so many times.

There were a LOT of weddings in 2024.

Pandemic happened. Then we started trying to relive life again in 2023, but in small doses. Then 2024 happened and all the invites.

The small 20-30 weddings were fine. The 100+ one SUCKED. One boomer wheezing coughed everywhere and people were just touching and spitting on all the desserts. Not to mention alcohol, being so close to election month, and people not remembering how to socialize led to some wild statements.

Post wedding, I took a two week PTO and just played Elden Ring to cope.

Bonespurs getting elected again, and I haven't overcome it yet.

I started my own bussiness early this year. Though I'm not in the clear yet, I must say that commiting to actually doing it was the most anxiety inducing experience of my entire life. I was feeling physically ill for months due to the extreme levels of fear and worrying wether I'm about to make a huge mistake.

Me. Not therapy nor medications (because I interrupted them thanks to the unemployment), but my biological programming.

Me, and I'll let you know if I figure it out

Had a half hearted not quite suicide attempt, call it a dry run. I want to die even more now, but I quit my job so I have nothing to stress me into acting on it so I spend every day doing nothing wishing I did

Things don't improve unless you improve them, and I've tried and tried and just made everything worse. People love to chime in "you'll get there eventually!" and no, I won't, because I just don't have it in me to try anymore. I've gotten worse at managing the ADHD, the depression has sapped my energy and motivation to nothing. I'm over being alive, but I refuse to hurt the people I care about so I'm stuck here until things get so bad I don't care about hurting others.

For me it was the weather that almost did me in. Just me and the snow now.

Me.

Medication and therapy.

Was eating a bacon sandwich at a local park cafe when I started choking on a fatty piece that got stuck in my throat. Luckily a man next to me had just done a first aid course so knew what to do.

I can pass out semi randomly because of POTS, I've nearly fallen down large flights of stairs multiple times this year.

I've also seen the white light after getting a hormone booster in the hospital, not sure how close it was but when I got back the amount of nurses and doctors next to my bed had multiplied significantly.

I learned that I’m a diabetic the hard way (went into diabetic ketoacidosis and spent several days in the ICU). This happened while I was thousands of miles from home and was not a pleasant experience. Thankfully things are pretty well controlled now that I’m on insulin.

Someone on the highway crossed 4 lanes of traffic very suddenly and almost took me out.

And also the self restraint I've been practicing to not fight my coworker is cutting my life in half.

I lost my friends and my partner. I'm pretty alone, still have cancer, and pretty much just wish something would just fucking kill me overnight.

Me on electric scooter driving cca 20 km/h. About 3 meters before traffic light which had red light on. I brake instantly from 20-0 and learned how to fly. Sure it won't kill me but still was fun and could get worse.

Taking it metaphorically the whole course of my life currently is killing me softly. I've got very little to complain about my life but I am just completely lost where I am even going and it is dragging me into depression. I'm getting help from both my employer and by my own looking for it but it'll take time. Working through issues is hard though.

I wish you all the strength with your heart issues and hope it never rears its head again!

I'll go first. I had a heart attack a few months ago. Thankfully, i was at home, and my dad is a doctor, so he maintained the situation before i could get to a hospital.