this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 days ago (2 children)

A press conference with aliens? I don't think so. They'll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 days ago (3 children)

There's a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you've all but proven that God exists.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (6 children)

You will prove that one god exists?

Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?

Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (6 children)

Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.

I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?

And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

If you like old school scifi you'll probably like it. It's a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:

https://read.amazon.com/sample/B004G60EHS?f=1&l=en_US&r=eec1d4a1&rid=348SM72J0X8RWTFKS1BG&sid=136-6887572-5455735&cid=ANAROXL46XMJT

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hyperion was a fun read. Definitely recommend. I had a small book club and it was fun to talk about.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"This is my blood" was actually a miscommunication, he meant that the cup he was holding was his and it was full of blood he didn't want to share.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago

Explanation: humans suck

[–] [email protected] 85 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Jesus ain't coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You think that's weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 days ago (2 children)

We killed God. And we'd do it again if given the chance.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

Life, uh, finds a way.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 days ago

Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 days ago (1 children)

TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (13 children)

Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (3 children)

That's all retconning.

Dude showed up with a message for peace, was murdered and his murder is celebrated. Literally, a bunch of people running around pretending that's what he wanted. The propaganda is so strong that everyone just accepts it as fact.

It's really not much different than claiming a women wanted to be sexually assaulted because of what she was wearing.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.

The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.

It still doesn't make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn't help the story, or the belief it's just a useless... Thing?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

a virgin birth

parthenogenesis – Jesus is a clone of Mary – which also make him canonically a trans man

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (26 children)

the perfect push over the edge for the doubting christian in your life: was Jesus trans or was Mary an adulterer?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He is whatever you want them to be.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, but wait until you hear what these green guys did to Santa.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Actually, he only cums once a year.

[–] [email protected] 112 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I feel I've seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago

[–] [email protected] 110 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 days ago

Even more similar than I remembered!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 6 days ago (2 children)

That joke's been around since 1750 BC

Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:

When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : "I will return when the time is right." Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: "Why, then, has Jesus not returned?"

What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?

You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?

Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er... this is a joke btw)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago

Top tier joke, mate.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's the fedi here, why only link their bluesky when they have a Mastodon and a website?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Because that's where I got it from, that's where I linked the source to

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

understandable, have a good day

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

I second this.

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