I'd be really curious about what is really means and how you manage or cope with it. If I knew you for a while it would be just another thing to file away about your personality. It probably is something you would share with people you are close to, but you may need to educate them on what it means.
this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
34 points (71.8% liked)
Asklemmy
44358 readers
1228 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Depends on how you frame it.
βIβm a certified asshole and thatβs why Iβm trying to change.β
or
βIβm certified awesome and you should know any problems are really your fault.β
Why the ever-loving eff would you talk about this during a job interview?
Is this a recent diagnosis? You need to slow way down and educate yourself on the condition and your employment rights. And I don't mean by asking people on internet forums. Get real resources recommended by the doctor who gave you the diagnosis.
I thought if they ask your medical history you're supposed to give them a complete rundown. Recent appointments, diagnosis and medication everything now I know better
Curious what country you live in? In the US, your medical information is protected information and it's generally illegal for employers to ask you information about it. I think certain fields have exemptions for this though... possibly the military?
load more comments
(1 replies)
I don't know where you live, but it is not normal for prospective employers to ask for your medical history most places, and is legally questionable if not outright banned under the anti-discrimination laws of many countries.
load more comments
(5 replies)
I think unfortunately you do need to have a lot of pre-emptory remarks prepared. The key things to cover are to establish your self-awareness and then discuss some of the triggers of your difficult behaviors and how you want others to feel empowered to address them.
This isn't one-to-one with a cluster b disorder, but I struggle a lot with compulsively making mean comments. With new friends, I have a short speech explaining it, how I share my true thoughts, and encouraging them to directly speak to me if they feel upset or offended. Sadly, it doesn't work all the time and more people bounce off sooner, but the people who do stay around it has been possible to build more secure and healthy friendships with.
It might be helpful to find a similar process for yourself.
How would you feel if somebody you knew told you they had NPD?
I usually know pretty quick without them telling me, and it doesn't change how I feel/think about them- that's based on their behavior, not their diagnoses
Should I ever tell him?
I would maybe bring it up in a joking/self-deprecating manner, because there's a good chance he puts it together eventually if you're together long enough. E.g., "my toxic trait is that despite being measurably worse than most people on most metrics, I'm still somehow better than everyone" (gotta be delivered right though).
I joke about my narcissism with my family, partner, and clients
Edit: one of the few places I wouldn't tell someone is during a job interview
The issue is behavior (which is the primary way most of that is diagnosed to begin with).
Acknowledging the behavior and making a deliberate attempt to prevent/improve it is something I would see as a positive sign compared to the behavior without the same steps. Getting a diagnosis (and some type of therapy) is a good thing.
If you consistently treat me badly, the label wouldn't be why I left. If you make mistakes, but make the regular effort to be aware of them and improve, the label doesn't matter either.
It's worth noting that there will be people who hear the label and react badly, though.
I would argue that the short term pain is worse than hiding it and being with someone who doesn't know you and can't understand you, but I can't promise it won't be a dealbreaker for someone you really don't want it to be, either.
Finally, somebody understands. This is what I've been trying to get across to people. If somebody is being manipulative or abusive the problem is there behaviour not a diagnosis they were born with but our society is more preoccupied with pop psychology and demonising those with personality disorders.
So I'm not big on most of what passes for self improvement material (I think the self help genre is almost entirely trash), but anyone who makes a habit out of trying to make themself better is moving the right way.
What's a NPD???
Narcissistic Personality Disorder