Asklemmy

bro i hate this type of shit, when you are a kid you are not doing school work all of the time, and when you are an adult you are not working all of the time - yes you will always have responsibilities but that is a part of your life

Where do I get a career I can retire from to complain about?

Capitalism is the hidden antagonist here.

I like watching the changes. The world and everything in it, including me, isn't in stasis. People get old, I'm getting old, wild to look back at 'young me' or think of a close friend at a time when they were totally unfamiliar. My hometown is 10x larger and looks wildly different but I can still point out some unchanged spots when I go to visit.

I wish I could stop time and do whatever but I acknowledge that I was thrust into this with no say in any of it, so I just strive to be at peace with it I suppose

I notice a lot of comments here saying "Hey go live your life now! Pick up that guitar or paintbrush or dancing shoes or whatever! Live for you!" And I agree. I often struggle with these existential thoughts.

But something they might leave out is that it's HARD.

Following your own path can be unpredictable, and meandering, and you need to know who to trust and lean on them, and let them lean on you.

It can be a one-move-to-the-next kind of existing without that facade of "predictability" a society-prescribed life will get you. The good news is that stability is a myth anyway, so why not see it for what it really is?

I was treading water in a soul-destroying job for almost a decade when I finally saw the opportunity to strike out for myself, and I ran for it. My wife was promoted to a position that paid more and she didn't hate it, so we discussed it and I quit, and took on more household duties and put my efforts towards finally becoming a 3D artist.

It's been like a year+ and I still haven't "made it" yet! It's scary! But I've gotten some gigs! I'm still slow, and not as wildly creative as I'd like to be, but I do random labor on the side and try to keep my costs as low as possible. But she's happier with how not-depressed I am, and I've made so much progress more than I ever would have otherwise.

Are we even able to start saving for retirement? Not even close! But I'm betting on myself and in the process I get a lot more time well-spent with the person I love.

No, not everyone is gonna have these opportunities or privileges, I know. But keep looking, talk to people, DO THE WORK instead of just talking about it. Help people! Let people help you! There will be some foothold for you somewhere.

And if you gotta pull some shifts at a coffee shop to keep the lights on there's no shame in that! And you're gonna have people who think you're crazy and try to pull you back into the pot with the other cranky crabs because you're there reminding them that they could've done something with their lives too.

My point is, taking charge of your life instead of asking permission from various gatekeepers is HARD. You might follow your dreams and find out you suck at it. The dream might even change at some point.

But it's worth doing. Because what's the alternative?

Lord knows if the worst were to happen, your boss will be filling your job before your body is cold. So where is your effort, energy, discipline, talents, love, best spent?

As Bruce Lee once said: "Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."

I'd add, "one worth living."

This shit really gets to me but not in a way you might expect.

I'm extremely content in life. It amazes me there are so many of you that just aren't happy existing. Every day is what you make of it and if you live life as glass half full no amount of milestones is going to fill it.

There is something to be said about simplicity. It can be as little as appreciating the sun on your face but you need to be open to appreciate it.

Life only has meaning when you give it meaning and the longer you hold off doing that then empty you shall remain.

Many people saying 'live for the now', which is totally valid, but there's an alternative as well, which is the path I followed - devise a concrete economic plan for your life (5 year plan, 3 year plan, etc), and track ALL your spending until you have a strong grasp on how you like to spend your cash.

It's hard to make more money, so do everything you can to reduce spending in your life. No only will you increase how much can put away, but you'll need less to sustain yourself when you reduce how much you earn, due to the cultivation of a spendthrift life.

'I Have Read Some Obituaries With Great Pleasure'

Ignore it til it screams at me from within

I did this with having no kids.
"Ohh I'm not in a position to create a good life for an offspring."
"Ohh now I'm over 40 no kids for me, I guess it's better anyway. The climate catastrophe is real the World is on fire."

It took me until my early 30s before I realized this. It's time to begin. Let's do this!

(Next year I am going to go travelling to Paris and likely Amsterdam too)

The truth here that many people won't get is that you can start your life anytime you want. Waiting for a good menu option to click on doesn't work. In my early 20s I was an introverted, anxiety-ridden computer geek. Then I took a community college acting class and discovered my passion for theatre - did acting, stage design, lighting, directing... it created almost an instant social life, tons of friends and looking forward to every day. My job became just a necessary detail, my real life was after work.

Anyway I encourage everyone to figure out how to get their life started. Doesn't matter what the economy is like or your personal history or circumstances - it's not you - nobody's life has ever cared if they lived it or not.

It's never too early to do that thing you always wanted to do. Sure, you only get 5000 weeks at most, but that's plenty if you make good use of them.

Just hit my mid 30s. Feeling like working hard only gets your more hard work. Not that I’m in a bad spot but for real what does it all mean

This seems relevant -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsAd4HGJS4o

TLDW: You have to change your mindset. Do not accept the default, be mindful and self-aware.

Also known as the "protestant work ethic" by someone trying to sell protestantism probably

There are no destinations, only journeys. If you don't find meaning in the path you're walking you have three choices:

1. Change the path
2. Change yourself
3. Live a life you feel is meaningless

There is no right or wrong answer, only choices and your experience of making them.

Make your life as close to what you want it to be in the present as you can personally achieve, and make plans. Focus on what you want to accomplish this day, week, month, year, 5 years, decade, and by the time you retire. Adjust as necessary if you go off track, whether faster or slower.

Time will pass. Harness it.

This quote really struck a chord with me:

Over the years as we all worked our way into time as if it were a field of sawgrass, cutting our ankles, a slog into middle age for me and a slow sunken decline towards death for the generation before me and my siblings. There were break-ups, fuck-ups, children and my own struggles with misty sorrow that has seemed to follow me like a sick-feral cat. A walking disappointment was what I felt like much of the time, even though I had enough confidence in myself to live the kind of life I desired. [...] In my mind I see the universe swirling like a giant whirlpool swallowing up everything all at once, and in this grand whirlpool people are smaller than a droplet of water rushing over Niagara Falls and then become mist. And when I die, my memories die with me and perhaps for one or two generations I will be remembered for a few things in my life but not for the mundane or what my daily interactions were like, not the cuddling of my dog nor the pride in my children or the laughter I was a part of, so much laughter that it caused people's head’s to turn.

These days, mostly panicking about getting everything on the bucket list set up. I've let too much just fly by already.

Accept that good actions will not give an immediate or always measurable result for you to observe.

You are a social being. What matters most is often not what increases you in status, but what increases others in wellbeing or allows you to appreciate the beauty in lifem

On your death bed you will not wish to have worked more, but probably to have spent more time with people dear to you or that you had spent more time for actions that nudge society a tiny bit more towards your values.

Capitalism especially todays consumerism is built around manipulating you to identify yourself with superficial status. Breaking free of that will open yourself to value your time and actions as meaningful as they become meaningful, even if there is no number or title attachable to it.

Don't worry, our overlords are planning for us to benefit from their anti-aging research too! When they turn us into servitors.