Asklemmy

People who hate on vegans are really strange.

I was vegan for about 8 years. I just don't bring it up often. I don't tell people I am a vegetarian. It's not a bragging point. It's just one part of who I am. Don't make it your whole identity.

Don’t live your life to please other people. It’ll make you miserable because there will always be those you can’t please. Instead, define for yourself what a “good vegan” is, and do your best to meet that standard. Everybody is different, and only you know what works for you.

Also, be forgiving of yourself. Everybody makes mistakes; no one is born an expert at anything. The fact that we still bite our tongues while eating is proof of that. So give yourself grace when you make a mistake; learn from it, and become better.

Basically bottle up all the wrong you see in the world because people can’t be bothered to put down their hamburger because it’s soooo delicious. Even though you keep your mouth shut and make incredible vegan food, they still can’t be bothered to change because for some reason people believe animals are beneath them.

Honestly, before I was vegan I never lost my shit whenever I was around my vegan friends so I’ll never understand why people are like this. How hard is it to be like “they have a point” and admit you’re part of the problem?

TL;DR; is don’t be a “good vegan” if you don’t want to, screw the hypocrites.

Most vegan hate is just reactionary and you should disregard it. It's because vegans force omnivores to confront the reality of where their food comes from, to confront climate science, and to confront your own personal social responsibility. I think it's very silly to be concerned with being a "good vegan". If you don't want to get into arguments then just eat your vegan food and move on. If people take issue with you deciding to eat the food you want to eat, and having boundaries around not wanting to eat certain foods, especially given that these decisions are based on your own moral compass, then they are complete dickheads you should not be around anyway.

I also don't think there's anything morally wrong with being a naggy/pushy vegan. I don't try to convince anyone to go vegan just because I figure if they want to then they will, if there's resistance then I have better ways to spend my time. If they're vegan-curious they're always welcome to ask me about it. I think whether or not you try to make other people go vegan is a personal choice, and a political choice about how to most effectively enact your politics.

I think trying to have a more progressive social circle will help you, because I have honest to god never experienced one of my friends taking issue with me being vegan, and several of my omnivorous friends have confessed to me unprompted that they feel bad about eating animal products and "should" eat more vegan food (I don't ever even talk about veganism except for just mentioning that I'm vegan when we're getting food together). Like I said, if they take issue with the food you choose to eat/food you refuse to eat for moral reasons, they are just plain dickheads and you should stop being friends with them.

You can’t really be a good vegan to people who hate vegans: the fact that they’re assholes is 100% on them and 0% on you.

Their hate of vegans comes from their own hangups. I imagine it’s one or more of:

1. Their own uncomfortable feelings around eating animal products, which you are reminding them of.
2. They think that vegans think that they’re “better than them,” and they resent vegans for it.
3. Some weird toxic masculinity-adjacent thing.
4. They just hate anything & everything that isn’t normal/consensus, for whatever reason.

Maybe there are other hangups as well; those are what immediately come to mind.

Don't think you can do any 'better' than your lactose-intolerant cop-out.

This is going to sound Buddhist AF, but the problem is that in most cases, it's not the vegans introducing the conflict, but rather this conflict existing within the people who take offense.
They don't feel steadfast in their morals and often don't feel confident in their identity or self-worth either, so when someone comes along who does something they perceive as morally superior, then this confronts them with their internal conflict, which makes them feel like they're being attacked.

So, the two ways to avoid the conflict, as others already suggested, are:

• Never bring up that you're vegan, or
• Give them a reason why you can do the morally superior thing more easily than them.

That you're lactose-intolerant is perfect. Especially with many people not understanding what that entails precisely, you can say that you can't eat many foods anyways, so might as well go vegan. Or that it's even sometimes easier to just pick the vegan variant, as you'll know no dairy is in there.
This is still not easy to use as a cop-out. You'll regularly encounter people who might take offense, and you've got basically just two sentences or so, to defuse that situation. This is why many vegans stop caring, if someone wants to be offended. It's too tiresome to be a people-pleaser.

I've seen a lot of hate towards vegans online, admittedly being someone who partook in that several years ago myself to a small degree.

Then you probably understand that the hate is primarily a coping mechanism because vegans propose arguments that question their lifestyle. It's a "them" problem, not a "you" problem.

If you value consistency, don't let a few jerks push you into a behavior that isn't true to yourself. Don't come up with fake reasons for why you neglect to partake in rituals that don't respect the rights of animals.

State your real reasons. This is also better for the animals. If someone then wants to start a discussion, you can still politely refuse.

If you're not dictating what others should eat, then I think there would be no issue. Goodness is in behaviour, right?

I'm in India. In Hinduism, some upper castes have vegetarianism. And also most people would need to have meat or fish to achieve a balanced diet and meet nutritional goals within reasonable costs.
We also have the issue of people suspected of eating cow meat being mob lynched to death in some North Indian states.

So, when I see moralistic stuff being talked about diets, I become wary about associated casteist/classist things behind it.

I've read that the average Western person eats a lot of meat compared to others, so not against the idea of better consumption to reduce wastage, but have seen some online discussions where people are talking about it from two contexts.

Honestly, just don't be a dick about it.

It's like being a good insert religious group. You live your beliefs, and don't push them on other people. It's really that simple. That's what people hate about vegans.

If someone asks, it's perfectly okay to explain why you follow a religion, so it's fine when the question is about being vegan. It's when there's a conversation about something else, and you insist on shoving your beliefs into it that's there's a problem. Or, when the conversation is such that talking about your beliefs is the goal, insisting that the other people agree with your beliefs.

It's that simple. It's that easy.

I troll vegans. It's easy to do because a lot of them treat it like a religion and are zealots, or are arrogant enough to think that they're better because of what they believe. But, irl away from the anonymity of the internet, it rarely happens, and the vegans I know are fucking great, because they don't shoehorn their beliefs into things, and don't act like jerks about it. It's why I'll gladly cook vegan for them when they're guests.

You know how people bitch about jehovah's witnesses and mormons knocking on their door, or the baptists (or other christian sects) leaving shit on their stoop or shoved into doors? Don't be like that. If you're in a situation where you would not be surprised that someone would be angry/annoyed by someone going on about being wiccan or christian, or hindu, they'll likely be the same about veganism.

Live your beliefs, don't show them off, and anyone that has a problem with you is the asshole, not you.

My buddy went hard when he first went vegan, pushing me to see videos of animal abuse so i would 'understand'. That was annoying, but it was new to him so i didn't make it an issue. His making the change was enough to start me on the road myself, though i don't think he'd understood that (cuz i'd never tell him lol)

My son is vegan and he makes fun of himself - If you vape, you're vegan, and you're in a band; which one do you talk about first? Was funnier a few years ago when people carried around those giant vapes. We harassed him a lot for saying, "i can't eat that" - well, yes you can, but you choose not to- so, now he'll say he prefers to avoid animal products. If people ask, be honest and answer succinctly - I'm trying it to see if it makes me feel better, or whatever. The hate isn't from choosing your own food. It's from the endless conversations and superior, more informed attitude about it - same as anyone who makes one thing their identity - politics, religion, etc.

Hey, glad you want to be a considerate, conscientious vegan! You won't upset anyone as long as you follow these simple rules:

1. Never admit that you are vegan
2. Never talk about veganism
3. When people are talking about meat, eagerly participate
4. Do not eat visibly vegan food in public
5. If offered meat or cheese, eat it without protest
6. Do not cook vegan food if serving others
7. When you see a cow, remark out loud how you want to eat it

That's about all you need to know to be one of the Good Vegans. Hope this helps!

you're probably going to have better luck asking this in a vegan focused community

Idk but be prepared for people to be extreme assholes to you because they don't like your choice of food. Mfers will see you not order a meat dish at a restaurant and take offense and try to bait you into an argument. Don't fall for it because they'll play dirty