this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
0 points (NaN% liked)

Ask Me Anything

2352 readers
8 users here now

Ask Me Anything (AMA) Community Rules and Guidelines

This is the lemmy.ca AmA.

Welcome to the Ask Me Anything (AMA) community! This is a space where individuals from various backgrounds come together to engage in open and informative discussions. To ensure a respectful, enjoyable, and inclusive experience for everyone involved, we have established the following rules and guidelines:

  1. Be Civil and Respectful:

    • Treat all participants with respect, regardless of their background, expertise, or opinions. Personal attacks, insults, or derogatory language will not be tolerated.
    • Engage in constructive conversations, even if you disagree with the person answering the questions. Focus on addressing their responses or providing alternative viewpoints without resorting to hostility.
    • Remember that the participants are sharing their knowledge and experiences voluntarily. Appreciate their time and effort.
  2. Practice Politeness and Courtesy:

    • Use polite and considerate language when asking questions or engaging in discussions.
    • Be patient and understanding if the person answering takes time to respond. They may receive a high volume of questions.
    • Avoid spamming or repeating the same question multiple times. Give others a chance to ask their questions as well.

-Use NSFW and trigger warning TW in brackets if you talk about sensitive subject.

  1. Respect Boundaries and Privacy:

    • Do not ask personal or invasive questions unless the participant explicitly invites such queries.
    • If a participant declines to answer a question or requests to move on from a topic, respect their boundaries without pressuring them for a response.
    • Avoid sharing personal information or disclosing sensitive details about yourself or others.
  2. Be Inclusive and Stand Against Discrimination:

    • Respect diverse perspectives and backgrounds. Discrimination, including racism, homophobia, and transphobia, will not be tolerated.
    • Foster an environment that welcomes individuals of all races, genders, sexual orientations, religions, and identities.
    • Be mindful of your language and the potential impact it may have on others. Avoid offensive slurs or derogatory terms.
  3. Avoid Spam and Irrelevant Questions:

    • Ensure your questions are relevant to the participant's expertise or field of knowledge.
    • Avoid posting low-quality or repetitive questions that add little value to the discussion.
    • Respect the purpose of the AMA and avoid using it solely for self-promotion or advertising.
  4. Engage in Meaningful Discussions:

    • Prioritize thought-provoking and insightful questions that foster engaging conversations.
    • Be open to different perspectives and use the AMA as an opportunity to learn and broaden your understanding.
    • Jokes are allowed as long as they are respectful, appropriate, and do not target or marginalize specific individuals or groups. -If you are sarcastic, we recommend to use /s to be sure there is no confusion about your intention. Fake sarcasm will be found.

Remember, these rules and guidelines are in place to ensure a positive and informative environment for all participants. Failure to comply may result in 3 strikes warnings, temporary restrictions, or permanent bans at the discretion of the moderators.

in the future, a mod check and balance system might be implemented . Subject to change : [You might appeal your ban by contacting a special appointed moderator to judge if the ban was abusive.

Special appointed mod can create jury like conversation with randomly chosen users with jury votes to decide if bans are legit or not.]

Thank you for being a part of the Ask Me Anything (AMA) community. Let's engage in enlightening discussions, share knowledge, and create an inclusive space that values respect and diversity!

Friendly communities :

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Transition: 2001-2004. Fully stealth since 2002 (had sex reassignment surgery & changed all of my documents). My last transition procedure was voice feminization surgery.

(page 2) 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How many people can tell/how many of those people will mention it?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

I haven't had that happen since all of my documents were changed. So that's 22 years.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How important is being able to “pass” as an aspect of being stealth? If someone is ever able to tell you transitioned or inquire about whether you have after interacting with you, do you feel like you would not be stealth? Or is it more about not being singled or pointed out by strangers? Or perhaps since the last of your transitioning, no one has even been able to tell unless you told them like your hubby

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (9 children)

I personally believe that the most important aspect of being stealth is legal stuff - getting all of your documents changed. Because "passing" is kind of a weird concept: there are masculine women, feminine women... I honestly "passed" as a woman even before starting HRT - long hair, makeup, clothes, mannerisms, these are all stereotypical / traditional gender signs that signal to people what gender you are, because we live in a binary world. Once my birth certificate and ID and all of that said F, there was nothing that anyone could do that could "expose" me. But yeah, passing does have its importance, and I was extremely lucky to be dealt a very good card - both genetics and the resources to have all the procedures I did. I think the core of what being stealth is, is people perceiving you straight up as your gender, without any seconds thoughts or suspicions. Basically not questioning what they see.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How hard was it for you to get the medical care you needed in the early 2000s?

Were/are your parents and family supportive?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (7 children)

So, I'm from Romania. Even now medical care for trans issues is abysmal, back then it was essentially non existent. The only reason I was lucky enough to get the good medical care I have, is that my parents had the resources and connections to make it happen. In 2000, I started seeing psychologists. I did that for a while, then I had to see a psychiatrist who had to give me a gender identity disorder diagnosis in order to start HRT with a endocrinologist. I'm thankful for that year of therapy, it weed out any another possible causes for my feelings. My parents paid for everything, surgery in Thailand (SRS), US (FFS and breast augmentation), South Korea (voice surgery), living alone in another city... they were supportive because for them being trans was way better than being a gay boy, because they saw and see being trans as something that can be fixed through transition - after which you just fit in normally with everybody else. After I had SRS I changed my documents - and because even now there is no regulated procedure to do so legally, you essentially have to sue and hope that the court grants your legal change, and it required SRS.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

What are you having for lunch?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Ask anything? Any good ideas for a decent non-dairy breakfast option I could eat in my car on the way to work? I have been eating peanut butter on toast, but my breath smells too strongly of peanuts as soon as I get to work.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Bagel with avocado, hard-boiled eggs and fruit, smoothie in a travel cup...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Smoothie leads to too much cleaning..... But might be the best option 🤔

Thanks

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Is it really "stealth" you wanted to write? I'm of the impression that a full transition is the opposite of being hidden and undercover. Genuine question, I'm interested in the mindset. You are a woman - is there an aspect about that that needs to be hidden now?

And: How are you now? Is there any "aftermath" of your life before transition, any connections to the life before? 20 years is a long time so a lot of connections may get lost and forgotten.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Well, for me stealth doesn't mean hidden or undercover. The whole purpose of transitioning for me was to assimilate into the general population, from the very first moment. That was my goal. That's what stealth means to me. For me being "trans" wasn't a permanent state of being, but a temporary one I had to go through, and a problem that needed to be fixed, in order to live life the way it feels right to me. A medical issue to which transitioning was the treatment. I sacrificed a lot, when I started my transition I cut off everyone but my parents and siblings & moved to another city for a completely new start where no one knew me. I'm doing great now, have an amazing husband and 2 kids, and great friends. Living the life I've always wanted. I don't feel any connection to the old me anymore. I've already lived longer as "this" than "that" by now. Even my birth certificate has been saying F longer than M.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That seems like a hard thing to do, cutting almost all ties. Im happy it worked out for you and you found the life you were longing for. But does the stealth include your husband? I guess not? So (since he's your husband now) I assume it didn't matter to him? How did he react initially?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for the answer! Stealth indeed includes/means total integration into something, you're right. And I'm happy that your transition has this great effect for you!

Another question: Does your husband know? And if so, how did you and he "handle" this information? (Sorry if my wording may sound weird sometimes as English isn't my mother tongue).

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›