How many people can tell/how many of those people will mention it?
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I haven't had that happen since all of my documents were changed. So that's 22 years.
How important is being able to “pass” as an aspect of being stealth? If someone is ever able to tell you transitioned or inquire about whether you have after interacting with you, do you feel like you would not be stealth? Or is it more about not being singled or pointed out by strangers? Or perhaps since the last of your transitioning, no one has even been able to tell unless you told them like your hubby
I personally believe that the most important aspect of being stealth is legal stuff - getting all of your documents changed. Because "passing" is kind of a weird concept: there are masculine women, feminine women... I honestly "passed" as a woman even before starting HRT - long hair, makeup, clothes, mannerisms, these are all stereotypical / traditional gender signs that signal to people what gender you are, because we live in a binary world. Once my birth certificate and ID and all of that said F, there was nothing that anyone could do that could "expose" me. But yeah, passing does have its importance, and I was extremely lucky to be dealt a very good card - both genetics and the resources to have all the procedures I did. I think the core of what being stealth is, is people perceiving you straight up as your gender, without any seconds thoughts or suspicions. Basically not questioning what they see.
How hard was it for you to get the medical care you needed in the early 2000s?
Were/are your parents and family supportive?
So, I'm from Romania. Even now medical care for trans issues is abysmal, back then it was essentially non existent. The only reason I was lucky enough to get the good medical care I have, is that my parents had the resources and connections to make it happen. In 2000, I started seeing psychologists. I did that for a while, then I had to see a psychiatrist who had to give me a gender identity disorder diagnosis in order to start HRT with a endocrinologist. I'm thankful for that year of therapy, it weed out any another possible causes for my feelings. My parents paid for everything, surgery in Thailand (SRS), US (FFS and breast augmentation), South Korea (voice surgery), living alone in another city... they were supportive because for them being trans was way better than being a gay boy, because they saw and see being trans as something that can be fixed through transition - after which you just fit in normally with everybody else. After I had SRS I changed my documents - and because even now there is no regulated procedure to do so legally, you essentially have to sue and hope that the court grants your legal change, and it required SRS.
Ask anything? Any good ideas for a decent non-dairy breakfast option I could eat in my car on the way to work? I have been eating peanut butter on toast, but my breath smells too strongly of peanuts as soon as I get to work.
Bagel with avocado, hard-boiled eggs and fruit, smoothie in a travel cup...
Smoothie leads to too much cleaning..... But might be the best option 🤔
Thanks
Is it really "stealth" you wanted to write? I'm of the impression that a full transition is the opposite of being hidden and undercover. Genuine question, I'm interested in the mindset. You are a woman - is there an aspect about that that needs to be hidden now?
And: How are you now? Is there any "aftermath" of your life before transition, any connections to the life before? 20 years is a long time so a lot of connections may get lost and forgotten.
Well, for me stealth doesn't mean hidden or undercover. The whole purpose of transitioning for me was to assimilate into the general population, from the very first moment. That was my goal. That's what stealth means to me. For me being "trans" wasn't a permanent state of being, but a temporary one I had to go through, and a problem that needed to be fixed, in order to live life the way it feels right to me. A medical issue to which transitioning was the treatment. I sacrificed a lot, when I started my transition I cut off everyone but my parents and siblings & moved to another city for a completely new start where no one knew me. I'm doing great now, have an amazing husband and 2 kids, and great friends. Living the life I've always wanted. I don't feel any connection to the old me anymore. I've already lived longer as "this" than "that" by now. Even my birth certificate has been saying F longer than M.
That seems like a hard thing to do, cutting almost all ties. Im happy it worked out for you and you found the life you were longing for. But does the stealth include your husband? I guess not? So (since he's your husband now) I assume it didn't matter to him? How did he react initially?
Thanks for the answer! Stealth indeed includes/means total integration into something, you're right. And I'm happy that your transition has this great effect for you!
Another question: Does your husband know? And if so, how did you and he "handle" this information? (Sorry if my wording may sound weird sometimes as English isn't my mother tongue).